A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I almost don't want to write this, coz I really want to believe that I have done the right thing and not second-guess my decision. But I do need someone's advice..I just broke up with my boyfriend. I was, well, am 4 yrs older than him(I'm 25). And we go to the same university and all that. I just had my b'day recently and he made the day very nice for me. A few days after that I noticed he'd become friends with some girl on a site like hi5. When I asked him about it, he said he knew nothing about how that happened. Then I saw he'd become friends with other girls as well. I questioned him again and he finally admitted he'd added them. It really pissed me off that he lied about it in the first place. He knows how much I hate it!! I just can't stand lies and deception. It makes me go nuts!! So I told him that I thought he should apologise for lying to me before I'd be fine with it. He did. Anyway, yesterday around lunch time, I was really hungry and he said he'd get me something from outside and went out with his friends. He said he'd call and let me know if the place was closed and I should order in. The next thing I know, he's coming home with his friends with take-out and he says he sent me an SMS letting me know I should order in. I told him I'd expected him to call coz he said he would. I got a lil mad at him for that(not in front of his friends, of course). Then he wouldn't talk to me after that and demanded an apology. I didn't say sorry coz I don't what I did wrong! He didn't talk to me nicely after that and it's been 24 hrs since then. Last night I fell asleep hugging him and he dind't hug me back, when I woke up this morning, I hugged him again, but he lay on his side of the bed as far away from me as possible. I had a quiz in the morn, so I went to give that and called him later asking him if he needed any help studying for his quiz. he siad "I'll study if I want to." I asked him if he wanted to talk to me, he said no, and he dind't want me to talk to him either. Later, he said he woudln't go to the mall, like we'd planned and I could go alone if I wanted to. He comes home and we don't talk and it kills me. The tension in the air makes me so uncomfortable. I tried telling him I don't like this atmosphere, that the reason I don't like going home sometimes is cause my parents fight and there's exactly thsi sort of tension around and it's so uncomfortable. I told him it was over, he said "don't be stupid". I siad I couldn't take this, and I want to end this. He lost his temper and said okay, I don't know you, you don't knwo me, f*** off and stop calling me! Did I do the right thing? We've been together 16 months. We live together, and it won't be easy moving out before the lease expires. I don't know what to do. I told him I don't want to change my mind about this and told him not to let me either! But I just don't know! I'm crying and I don't know what to do..I don't feel like calling any of my friends, I just dont' want to..what should I do? I'm sorry for making this long..but he was an important part of my life, probably the most.. :(
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 I think you were a bit hasty in you decision. This has all gone wrong for you. You are fighting over petty little things and you can easily put this right. I think you were a little bit unfair to your boyfriend about the text. If you still love him and want him sit down and sort it out. You need to apologise for your behaviour as does he. You have been together for quite a while and it would be silly to lose it all over this.
Aunty t
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