A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi There, My ex dumped me after two years a month ago. He said he just didn't feel the same even though I was due to move in with him (he asked me) and we had been going to family dinners etc, a couple of weeks before he was suggesting routes for me to get to work and loads of rubbish basically! ;) Well it was because then came out of the blue that he thought we didn't have a future. Just one month before that he said he could see us together forever. I was in narky form a couple of times on the phone the week before he broke up, but nothing that bad, pms, but nothing warrating a break up. Anyway I miss him awfully, I haven't contacted him except one phone call a few hours after he broke up, just wanting to talk, but he was silent so I hung up. Life goes on and I'm a strong person. But I still love him, I can't believe I still love him and I don't know what went wrong. Should I forget he ever existed? Or try be friends? Or try to get closure, I just don't know. All I know is the love I feel... Thanks in advance for the advice
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female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 In order for you to cope with this breakup and get use to the fact that it didnt work out is for you to just keep a way for awhile. Its going to take a while because you love him and i know you'll never forget the one person you ever loved, but you simply just put them behind in your mind as another part of your past. Staying in contact with him will just cause confusion and increase your heart-ache. Maybe after a while when you've finally got over it and you are coping pretty well, you can keep in contact from time to time. Right now though, focus on yourself and do what you need to do for your own sake. Go out, have fun, try new things. Make time for yourself rather than sitting around feeing sorry for yourself. Give it time and move on. Maybe he just wasnt the one for you in the first place which is why you were given a clear sign before this relationship was taken to the next level. Maybe it just wasnt meant to be anymore than it was. Move on and maybe you can give love another try. There is someone out there who will be willing to committ to you as much as you wil to them. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): Well you are doing the RIGHT thing. You haven't contacted him and you have been so strong about this. That's all you need in life is your strength and your dignity. That's good. Well it is normal to still love him, I mean it has only been a month. Beware though because men LOVE strong women (and so do women) and the fact that you have taken the break up so "well" and have seemed to move on and you haven't contacted him is going to eventually make him wonder about you. And give him a few months and he is probably going to start contacting you. If you still love him by then, just try to maintain the upper hand and make him beg a little bit. Actually alot. But hopefully you will have moved on by then, which would probably be your best option.In the meantime, just keep doing what you are doing and know that it is totally natural to feel the way you do.
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A
male
reader, tiger74 +, writes (12 December 2007):
Well love hurts. I had a similar circumstance where my ex moved away for grad school. We had talked about getting married and everything. I supported her move and foolishly thought that our love was strong enough to survive, afterall we'd been living together for two years of our three year relationship. Well three weeks after she left she told me she wanted a break. She was already 1700 miles away from me, I kind of thought that would be break enough. Well we broke up but like you I was heart broken, I felt physical heart ache like I have never felt in my life. I decided to go the friends route but that was because she was still talking to me and I figured that she knew me better than anyone else in the world so I should keep her in my life. Over the next three years we got back together and then did the long distance thing but it still faded. On the bright side she is still a friend of mine and we talk every couple weeks and more frequently via e-mail. So it really can be done, but it depends on the people involved and it will take a little time. Some people like to have that clean slate and it kind of sounds like he is like that. I guess I would say that it good you found out now and not after things got closer to or after marriage. You will never forget that he existed and a part of your heart will always love him (at least that is what I believe). Take this time to work on yourself; treat yourself to a massage, workout at the gym, whatever you need to get yourself out of a rut and get this guy out of your head. There is a better guy out there waiting for you though. Good luck.
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