A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 2 months now..and i think i really do love her.but lately things have been feeling wierd between us. like there is no "spark" and i think she is thinking about breaking up with me. how do i light this "spark" and save our realationship? please help me! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): Wow you are getting a lot of conflicting information here, she tells you that you are the best boyfriend she ever had and she tells one of your friends she is going to break up with you if the weekend doesn't go well..
Now, I think it is a bit sly on her part to tell one of your friends that she is going to break up with you, surely she knows he would tell you. If it were me, I would confront her a bit and ask her what is wrong or if their is something wrong because she seems a bit distant to you....listen to her without defending yourself or judging what she says, reflect back to her how you think she must be feeling and what you understood her to say...this will blow her mind that you care to listen to her that way, most people don't do this for each other, she will see you in a different light and become more comfortable opening up to you, you have to make her feel it is safe to say ANYTHING even if it is somewhat hard to hear. Try not to express your love for her just yet, she will feel this as pressure, and remember people respond to pleasure not pressure so keep things fun....try not to let her see you are worried about your relationship, act confident even a bit more hard to get....sadly people always want what they cannot have....this is working on you a bit as well....so don't be quite so available.....for awhile.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks..but just today one of my friends, who is friends with her, told him that if this weekend doesn't go good that she is gonna break up with me, cuz we are suppose to hang out this weekend. now losing her would devastate me because i really do feel for her like i have never felt for a girl before. and yet she tells me i am the best boyfriend she has ever had, if thats true why would she want to just leave me like that?
and to even help things out i got her a christmas gift, its a neclace with a heart on it, i plan to give it to her this weekend as a early gift to show her i really do care for her. any suggestions to what else i should do to make that day better? please help
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): It could be that you are dealing with a girl who is like most women and sometimes when she feels your love she may go inside of herself into a protective shell so to speak because she needs to process her feelings about the relationship, sometimes women often feel unworthy of love when their men show love through their actions and words.
During this time you need to keep your confidence in the relationship together, don't act differently, but try to show her how much you cherish her, offer her emotional support and acceptance and she will come out of her funk and be her loving self again....you just have to wait this out....If the spark was there at one time, it did not go far away never to come back. Think of it like a moth to a flame, if the flame is always present for the moth, he eventually burns himself out and dies.....one cannot always feel this emotional high....this is the very beginning stages of love, more to do with lust than anything else.....you are possibly entering the attachment faze which is deeper, sweeter, and can feel more calm....have no fear this is a good sign as she is still with you!
All the best.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 First step to save any relationship is to talk honestly with each other about it.
Spark is not something you switch on or off.
It is either there or it isn't. The problem sometimes is that it is there and you cannot see it. Only by working together at a relationship you can find out if it is there.
Not something you can master yourself alone.
Your insecurity or fear that your girlfriend may be due to low self esteem, you may feel that you do not fullfil her expectatios or simply you are scared of getting hurt.
After 2 months together, most couples enter a different stage of the relationship where they should feel more comfortable with each other. This is the time to enjoy getting to know each other.
Worrying about it, will not offer more guarantee that it will work, just make you feel miserable.
She may be feeling the same way, you will not know unless you talk to her.
Take care
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