A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im quite confused, me and my ex broke up around 9 months ago. I dont want him back or anything but sometimes i really miss him and i think about him i just cant help it no matter how hard i try. I just want to know if this is normal and if so how long does it last! Im also curious to whether he occasionally will think of me! wot do u guys think x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): hi tha happen we me to but he lie to me he was merri livig doble life I can't forget about him nat in amoment
we need help
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Laura1318 said "For some , it may last forever and be reminded when they are in the same place . Those places where you went together can trigger your brains to recall those past events... This affects the girls more than the boys. The boys will get on with their life without much effects from a breakup after a short while"
I have to say I disagree with "boys will get on with their life without much effects from a breakup after a short while". Some girls, in my experience, move on extremely quickly. I don't think you can generalise. I'm not one to move on quickly and am pretty much uninterested in girls at the moment following the break-up with my EX 2 months ago. Ok maybe I'm NOT your usual stereotypical bloke in that case. I suppose the majority of boys/men may move on quickly but that doesn't mean ALL do.
I think it depends on how emotionally involved you were in the relationship and how sensitive you are as a person which determines how long it'll take until you can move one fully at the end of the day. Man or Woman. I so agree in part though that generally Women are more emotional/snesitive than Men but this isn't ALWAYS the case.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (7 January 2008):
"Im quite confused, me and my ex broke up around 9 months ago. I dont want him back or anything but sometimes i really miss him and i think about him i just cant help it no matter how hard i try. I just want to know if this is normal and if so how long does it last!"
Well, I don't know how long these feelings will last to be honest, I think it's different for different people. Missing an EX is perfectly normal. How close you were and how long you were together also probably have an effect as to the amount of time to heal. Also, how the relationship ended (fell out of love, cheating, too volatile, etc) and who ended it I think also plays a part.
I split with my EX 2 months ago after being together for 15 months. I still think about her now and then. Although I have to say I've been thinking about her less and less the longer time passes; used to think of nothing else - the first week of being apart was absolute HELL. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't stop thinking about her and wondering how she was doing; did she feel like this? Is she happier now? Is she over it? Or is she as down as I am? I'm not like that now but do get odd moments every now and then where my mind wanders again; how is she doing? How are things in her life? Has she managed to get that job she wanted? I have moments where I do miss her.
Slowly I'm coming round and the "wounds are healing" I suppose. I think this is all part of the process of dealing with loss. I suggest you try and fill up as much of your time as you can with other things to keep you occupied. Read a book, watch a film, get out with your friends, pick up some new hobbies/interests. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to achieve this year - make a fresh start. What do you want? How can you do it? What can you do about it? What are YOUR aims for 2008?
The longer you and your EX are apart the easier it gets and the less you'll think of him.
Imagine you met someone special, sparks flew and lightning struck, you get closer and closer, fall in love, gradually opening up more and more to each other, the relationship progressed and you moved in together, spent every day together for 3 years. Then you split up and have no contact. It's normal to miss your EX. You've gotten used to being with that person for 3 years. It was a gradual process getting to know them, letting them in to your life and falling in love. You can't just switch off your feelings and be over it. It takes time to get REALLY close to someone and likewise, following the end of a relationship, it actually takes time to be apart too.
For me, your feelings are normal, especially if you haven't jumped in to another relationship. I think some people deal with loss by trying to replace it with another. I'm of the opinion you have to get over the last relationship and heal before you can go into another one. I'm single now and spending time with friends/family. Admittedly I do think about my EX but for me it's still "fresh" after just a couple of months.
"Im also curious to whether he occasionally will think of me!"
Perhaps he does? Perhaps he doesn't? Maybe he's moved on? I'm sure I'll be thinking and wondering about my EX for quite some time yet. I think it's likely, depending on how long you were together and how close you were.
I can understand where you're coming from. I'd love to know whether my EX still thinks about me. I like to think she does now and then as I still think about her. Afterall, we did love each other, were very close and spent a lot of time together. However, does it really matter whether she does or doesn't or how often? Not really. She's my EX.
Of course, I've said a million times "I don't want my EX back" too. However, whether I mean it or not I'm still not sure. Perhaps you're at that stage where you're wondering did you make a big mistake? Do you regret it? Or are you simply looking back at all the good times and forgetting about the bad?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 When the thing is no more , you will have regrets or remorse but in time , those thoughts will slowly fade .
For some , it may last forever and be reminded when they are in the same place . Those places where you went together can trigger your brains to recall those past events.
This affects the girls more than the boys. The boys will get on with their life without much effects from a breakup after a short while.
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A
female
reader, Sparkly_Stars +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Hiya.. Firstly, I really do understand what you are going through. It can take absolutely ages to stop missing someoene you grew an attachment to, and sometimes it can really hurt.. because most of the time, the memory plays tricks with you and after a while you start forgetting all the bad stuff and only remember the good stuff about them! (How totally annoying!!) It is hard to get over someone, but don't worry, you will find someone better and you will definitely start forgetting your ex when you do.. cos time is the best healer! And as for him thinking of you... OFCOURSE HE IS!!! I am sure he is actually thinking of you right now... ;o) Don't stress hun x x x
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