A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for almost two months now, and we really want to have sex, but I'm dead afraid! We love each other and that is for certain. I am not a virgin, I just know that I am not that great at bed. She is younger than me and still I know she has had more sex partners than I have, and that too burns me inside. My fear is I won't be able to please her as she wants...and connected to that goes the fact that her sexual past life hurts me so bad and I know she's done nasty things : and it hurts me so much that sometimes I want to break up with her...HELP! i don't know what to do!
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (31 December 2007):
 I just have to tell you that my current boyfriend thought he was bad in bed and its the best sex ive ever had, so ignore your insecurities and just go for it.
Tell her how you feel if you want your relationship to work you have to talk these thing over and work them out, im sure between you itl be fine
A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (31 December 2007):
 HEY there.
I agree with the others - jealousy / judgment is not a great way to go, so best you work at it now before it ruins any future relationships, including this one.
On the other hand, you seem like a really sweet guy, because you're so concerned about pleasing her. This is a good point to start.
Take it from me (who also had plenty experience, when my boyfriend didn't), EXPERIENCE - does not necessarily mean that she is great in bed either. Us girls tend to give sex in order to receive love, and this might have been the case with your girlfriend as well. She might have only given her body to her previous lovers, and done what they've asked of her, so don't be too worried about that.
She is in a relationship with you. You guys obviously feel something for each other, which is why you want to have sex (and why you haven't had sex yet), and this is positive. Try and relax about her past, because that is exactly what it is - her PAST. It has nothing to do with you.
Focus on your current situation. Love her regardless, and without exception. This way, you will be able to explore what she likes, and how she likes it. AND - don't be so hard on yourself. NOBODY is BAD in bed. It is only a matter of communication, and if somebody had told you that you're not great in bed, it is either because you didn't pick up on their signals, or because they gave the wrong signals. Mama2three is right. If you are unsure if you are pleasing her, then ask her what it is she likes. And relax. You'll be just fine. An awesome sexual life grows over time as both partners really explore each other.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, mama2three +, writes (31 December 2007):
 I agree with baby duck, you need to check your jealousy at the door! That will get you nowhere...it'll only cause problems in your relationship. If you can't get over her past, then you should probably not continue a relationship with her. Period.
Second, if you are so afraid while you're in bed, ASK her what she wants! There's nothing sexier to a woman than a man who's looking to please! And, odds are if she's as sexually experienced as you think she is, she should NOT have a problem letting you know what she wants, so don't stress out about it so much :) If she does do that, don't take it personally, because it's not a reflection of you, it's not that you *need* guidance from her, it's just that she wants things a certain way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): Look, as long as she doesn't have std's I wouldn't worry about how many partners she has had. What's in the past is over and done with, concentrate on today. Think about it this way; she could give you experience.
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