A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really really like this girl at college but my best friend also really likes her. he doesn't know that i like her and i'm not going to tell him because i want him 2 go out with her cause he's my best friend and i want him to be happy. the thing is that he won't ask her out because he is scared that she won't feel the same way about him. me and this girl talk alot and my question is how do i ask her who do you like? or do you like _? because i really want my friend to be happy even if i'm not happy because i will get over her at some point please helpthank you
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 You, find a new one to like. She's off limits, you hesitated and lost...
A
female
reader, layla26 +, writes (30 January 2011):
well if you truely like her speack to hem. if hes your friand he migth wont you to bee happy,dont do nathinkg before you tell hem you like her to, and if this is bad for hem you respect hem and you wont do nathing,thats what good friand do,and if he is ok, ask a girl to ask her imagine if she dosent like none of you your friand ship is dumed,,i ove to read what hapend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): Some nice advice from the girls there but I think you need a male opinion. (No offence girls)
This guy is your best friend which means you cannot under any circumstances go out with a girl that he has a major thing for. That's that, no ifs, buts or ands. You will be hurting him regardless of what he says. The choice is her or your friend. Make no mistake that this is the case.
Now your best friend will be with you through thick and thin, girls come and go. That's the way life is man, a good best friend is worth more than all the women in the world.
Don't even think of stabbing him in the back by trying to find out if she likes you too. Because if she says yes she does, then that will be the beginning of big mess in which you will lose one or both of them.
You see if you open that door and she does like you, then that will get the ball rolling in a direction that you can't stop. If you started dating her then your friend is gone should you break up with her in a few months then you lose both of them.
There is no way to get with her without hurting your friend, none, even if he says he's okay with it, do you really think he'll want to see you together, he won't even be able to hear her name without being jealous and that's only assuming he can deal with the fact that his "best friend" went behind his back and got with a girl he had a thing for. Dude if the roles were reversed and he went and intentionally got with a girl you had a major thing for how would that make you feel?
Can you really do that to him?
Talk it out with him and talk it out soon. Let him know what's happening in your head and try and come up with a solution together, look I was really serious when I said you can't date her without losing him, so even if he said you can that he wouldn't mind, he'd be lying just to make you happy. But trust me if you got together with her he'd be heartbroken. So talk it out with him and let him know you won't do anything with her.
Getting with your best friends crush is one of the biggest no-no's when it comes to friendship, it's a total deal breaker and friendships rarely survive that kind of thing. The only two that are worse are sleeping with his girlfriend or sleeping with his mother.
The only hope you have of doing the right thing is to keep things casual with her, do not get into discussion or action where something might happen between you and wait and hope your friends crush fades.
It doesn't matter if he ever asks her out, you cannot go near her until such time he has moved on and you know for sure he doesn't have a thing for her anymore.
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A
male
reader, DsuzaSam2  +, writes (30 January 2011):
If u r girlfriend has a friend who is very close to her try to friendship with her and develop a good friendship and try to ask her do u r frnd like any boy from the college if its ur frnd then u will be happy if not then also u will b happy and there will be a clear way for u to ask her ona date or frndship
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A
female
reader, GG96 +, writes (30 January 2011):
Just casually bring it up. Ex.: After silence in the conversation or you are talking about relationships and who likes who, etc.You: So who do you like? Her: (this is if she tries to beat around the bush) ummm someone You: c'mon, you can tell me Her: *name* Of course it wont go exactly like that, but it's just a general picture.
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A
female
reader, hammyj +, writes (30 January 2011):
Ask her straight up!! Don't beat around the bush, be clear or else your intentions might be misconstrued. You could ask her if she likes anyone she knows, you don't have to mention names, but then she might be afraid of putting herself out there because its also a risk for her in case you guys don't like her back. If you make it clear that your friend likes her then she'll be more willing to indicate whether she feels the same way.
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