A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had an argument 3 days ago with my boyfriend of 3 years. It was such a stupid little argument, so supid that i don't see the point in writing it here.After the argument, he walked away and went home. I texted him soooo many times telling him to forget about it but he doesnt reply or answer his calls. Im getting really worried and i feel physically sick. I cant eat, sleep, concentrate on my work, nothing. Because of cultural differences, i cant just turn up at his house (lives with parents) or call his landline. We've had arguments before and we've resolved it straight away. Maybe its because its always him who causes the arguments and im more forgiving, but this time it was me who caused it. I really miss him, i really don't know what to do. I am having a really tough time in my life at the moment, with friends also turning their backs on me, and i really need him, hes my best friend :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): I'm sorry for this to happen, but it’s not a positive sign. the reason is: it’s been 3 years and he is always arguing with you and just cuz you said something not biggy "if that’s the case" he is playing you like this?!!
I hate to tell you that, but this doesn’t seems to be working out :(
Eventually you will be over it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 he's your boyfriend of 3 years and you can't call the landline?
why not?
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (2 November 2011):
 You said that in the past you've had arguments but that they are resolved quickly because you are quick to forgive. And that these arguments are usually started by him.
Based on that pattern, I would guess that he is doing something very obvious and typical. He knows that if he refuses to answer you then you will probably go crazy because you are always trying to smooth things over anyway. Even if it is his fault.
He is well aware of how this is making you feel, and honestly, it is working! Am I right?
What he does not expect is for you to do the same. This, of course, is a game. And as much as you may hate playing games in a relationship, it is what it is.
Try not contacting him at all, and wait until he contacts you. This may be difficult, but I would guess the result would come about sooner rather than later.
In a general sense, this does not sound like a healthy relationship for a number of reasons. There should be open communication, and what you have described with his family just sounds bizarre.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): Well i can tell you that he's a typical male behaving in a typical males way. Men dont grow out of this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): I can call him on his cell but not on his landline. Because he lives with his parents. I have tried calling his cell but he wont pick up
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A
female
reader, Bluejean +, writes (2 November 2011):
This relationship is doomed from the start. If you have to be kept a secret from his family...
If he really loved you he would stand up to his parents. Love is love no matter the culture. You should thank your lucky stars you only wasted 3 years in this disrespectful relationship.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 Howcome you can text him on his cell, but not call him on his cell? This doesn't sound like cultural difference to me, what culture is he from since you can't call him?
Other than contact him you'll just have to wait and see what happens, and then talk to him about disappearing and giving the "silent treatment" isn't working for you, you need to know whats going on.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 November 2011):
 Go to a payphone (if you can find one!) and call his landline from there. You can pretend to be a charity if his parents answer. Though I have to say, it's a bit odd that you can't simply call his family's home.
Perhaps the silent treatment lasting a few days is simply his culture's way of punishing the other partner in a dispute? He's certainly found a way to push your buttons.
The other possibility is that his family has taken away his phone?
If he's a grown up, and you're a grown up, just call the landline, if you are making yourself ill with worry.
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