A
male
age
30-35,
*ndreC.
writes:Hey my name is Andrew. I am currently in a Long distance relationship my girlfreind is in Canada and I am in Portugal. We have been 9 months apart so far and i will be back Oct 1st 2007. We were recently talking about fights that we were having because we always get into fights everytime she goes out with her friends and we had been fighting for the past week well, yesterday we were talking and she said that she didnt want to lose me and that she wants us to work out so she said that this saturday(tommorow)that it will be the last day of july that she is going to go out with her friends and then she said that next month she only wants to go out once with her friends. I right away told her that i dnt want her doing this for me and that i dont want to rush her into anything because i dont wanna feel responsible for her saying this. She then said that obviously she is doing this for me and she said shes doing it becuase she doesnt want to fight and that she loves me and doesnt want us to fall apart. Now my question is do you think she will eventually get out of my control and this will cause us more problems in the long run??(sry for the long question and I love this site!)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): I didn't really have to read more than "lond distance relationship" to know the answer and that is: you are too young and immature to hold on to a long distance relationship. Relationships are not about control of the other, if there is any control to be exerted is over yourself. So if you really need to control the girl you are going out with then get someone at hand but I recommend you to stop that approach and try to grow up.
A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Hi Andrew,
I have to be honest with you babes, its really not fair you picking fights just because she goes out with her friends, jealousy is terrible thing and will only end in tears....
She obviously loves you, but its not fair she should give up her nights out, you really have to learn to trust her not control her she is a person not an object......
I am sure if you continue like this the yes, you will one day loose her so hun, if you really do love her then love her for who she is be proud of her but most of all TRUST her
Hope this has helped you in some way
Good luck
Love Donna x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): youre not exactly giving her much choice are you? you pick fights with her over her social life, so she says shel tone it down; of course its for you, and its great that shes willing to do that for you. you should appreciate her cos of her devotion, she clearly deserves someone better. 'get out of my control' ? shes not your property to control, shes your girlfriend! either start being more understanding and stop complaining about her friends and her activies that dont include you; she clearly loves you, now start showing her some respect, or let her go so she can find someone who will appreciate her.
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