A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have a problem. I am living with my boyfriend and i love him so much. we are really happy in all areas, the one and only area that i am not happy is with his attitude towards money. EVERY month without fail, he runs out of money, he cant, or rather doesnt want, to make his wages last. He earns the same amount of money as me. Like anybody, some months because of bills etc, he will have less money than others, but he still wont sacrifice a night out with the boys. Sometimes he will go out 2 - 3 times a week, knowing that he doesnt have much money to last for the rest of the month. Often i have to buy all the food etc for the week. He has to ask his parents to help him out practically every month. I really dont know what to do , as i am really happy with him , but this attitude really worries me and makes me sad. I probably should mention he is 27 years old, so he is not a young boy anymore. When i get upset he acts like i am the one with the problem and am interferring and i shouldnt care what he does with his money, but when we live together alot of things are shared, and i often have to go without because of his spending, even though i dont always tell him this, i am going without cause i know i will have to spend more than i should because he has no money. he wont listen to reason.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): Be wary. A man who is no good with money can drive you mad over time. OK you love him to bits but this is niggling away at you already. You should not have to carry him so he doesn't have to modify his behaviour financially. Also you don't want to feel as if you are his mother. Shame, but you are going to have to be firm unless you want this to continue without end.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): Self Reliance is important. As there will be times when all one has is the ability to work to provide for basic needs- when the economy is in a recession.Your BF is not one that has a good ethic in regards to this principle. Would he survive with our your or his parents help? NOPE.He is lazy and unmotivated and irresponsible. A very poor choice for a romantic anything. I would not want my daughters dating such a man.So my advice to you is this, he is of what age and should already know this important life skill and character trait. That he does not, showcases why type of man he is.Give him the boot and tell him the reasons why. He'll grow up one day, hopefully, but its not your job or responsibility to train him up to be such a man. That was hsi parents and now his SOLE responsibility.My Dad would be embarassed if any of us girls date/married such a poor display of manhood.
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (12 March 2012):
He's being selfish (he has enough money to go out with the boys).
Can't you just work out how much the bills are including food and both put money into a joint account to cover this? Then what's left or both your wages is for you both to spend on what you like?
Oh and his parents really aren't doing him any favours, they should tell him to only go out once a week with the boys if that's all he can afford!
x
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 March 2012):
 Sit him down & outline the new system, 50/50 down the line for all house hold expenses, even replacing linen or toilet paper. And money for fooe put into a "kitty" every pay day to cov er food for the next pay period. If he refuses to listen give him 2 weeks notice, tell him you are not prepared to support his bad money habits.
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