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female
,
anonymous
writes: I met someone from online who lives about 3 hours away.We both seem to like each other and have been in contact everyday now whether it's through text or phone conversations. He already said he wants us to be boyfriend/girlfriend.He came to see me in the city and i visited him one weekend. The thing is-he has a 5 year old daughter. He had a rough childhood so i can see he is doing everything that wasn't done for him. He has her most nights too compared to the ex. He even said he would love to move somewhere else one day but feels stuck because of his daughter. And it made me think--would you even be willing to move an hour and a half away? The area he is in right now isn't the greatest and doesn't seem to have any job opportunity. I am trying to remain open minded that maybe i could atleast live an hour or so outside the city if i met someone and commute but if he has to live in that area for his daughter who is only 5, I don't see how this could ever work long term for me :(I am thinking ahead because I don't want to get hurt or waste too much time. Should I bring this up and ask him or maybe wait until we see each other a couple more times?feeling sad but i guess i need to think like this for the future :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): Realistically if you want dating to lead to a relationship and then to a more permanent commitment, I would limit your online search to men who live within your city.
Listen to yourself...you've met him one time and have anxiety about whether he'll move so it can work. Talk about pressure, high expectations, and premature obligations going into what will amount to your second date. Dating a man who lives within 20 minutes of you will eliminate that pressure, allow you to relax and enjoy the relationship, which will have the potential to naturally lead to all the things you want for your future.
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