A
female
age
36-40,
*ovethouartcomplex
writes:Hi, Aunts! I've been seeing a guy for 2 months now. We used to talk throughout the day and text and meet often, but of late he initiates contact less. It's very frustrating when "Work has been very hectic" is the reply I receive as an explanation. I would like to ask that is it so that the charm wears off in such a rapid pace? Or is it typical male behaviour or he is simply disinterested in me? What can I do now? I really like him. Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2017): We'll see! Good luck!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 April 2017):
 Well if it is working for you then great, just make sure you are getting what you need from the relationship.
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A
female
reader, lovethouartcomplex +, writes (3 April 2017):
lovethouartcomplex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry for such a late reply. Almost a month. Had been busy. We are still together, instead of fussing about his calls/meetings, I've picked up hobbies of my own to keep myself engaged. That works just fine. ??
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 March 2017):
How did things go for you both?
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A
female
reader, lovethouartcomplex +, writes (25 February 2017):
lovethouartcomplex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your insights. You are right, if he liked me he would have proved it by his actions. Anyway, I am going to discard him from my life before he does so.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): Interest may have warn-off, plateaued, or he's done. If you're hearing less from him, he's most likely politely pulling away. Some guys are cowards, and just hope you get the message and fall away like a withered flower petal. They avoid messy emotional disconnections. Some are just cold and insensitive. They just want to keep one foot in the door, just in-case. He'd still have someone around during a dating drought, or he's horny.
You're too important to be placed on hold. You deserve better than that. Demand respect and consideration!
Rather than being confrontational, or blaming yourself for not being pretty enough (the most common and annoying reaction); just write him off. Don't waste your time!
It's his loss if he doesn't realize he may have found someone who is quite interested; and could bring his search for love and affection to an end, but he's too "busy" to appreciate it. Work-schedule is such a convenient excuse. It may also mean you're too eager and scaring him. If he's that flighty, please bother no further. You might want to tone it down if you're getting too attached. Reserve your feelings.
You gauge a guy's level of interest by his enthusiasm and effort to stay in-contact and eagerness to spend his time with you in-person. Not by how quickly or how many times he responds to silly around the clock text messages with stupid emojis. Constant text messaging is for teenagers and needy females who demand around the clock notification of your whereabouts; and steady pandering to their insecurities.
A strong woman knows her worth, what she wants, and sets her own rules, boundaries, and guidelines. She lives according to her own conscience and by her intellect. She uses discernment and common-sense when it comes to males. If he doesn't seem interested enough, she discards his messages, blocks his number, and moves on; because she knows a woman like her is a jewel, and treasures are hard to find. She lives by high-standards, and expects the same from men!
I disagree about asking him a lot of questions, or demanding explanations. He's had the opportunity to explain.
If he cared, he'd offer details without confrontation. He says he's too busy. Your time is as precious as his. Let him devote all his time to his hectic job. He has no time for you.
If he was considerate and sincere; he'd even go out of his way to make it up to you. He'd man-up and voluntarily "call" to let you know work will take him away, but he will stay in-touch. Then do it! It's not up to you to tell him what to do. He's a grown-man. He should know.
I agree, he's just not that into you.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 February 2017):
 Questions like this are frequent on DC and unfortunately they have the same answer... He's just not that into you. Sorry OP but that's what it looks like. Just 2 months and this is the state of affairs... I know people who've been married for 35 years and still can't go without talking numerous times a day.
Nobody can be so busy that they can't take 10 minutes out of their schedule to call someone who's special to them.
This is not the behavior of someone who truly likes another person (I'm not saying love yet because it's too soon). If a man likes a woman then he will go out of his way to show it to her. If you need to ask this question then you know the answer will never be positive
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): I'm currently going through the same situation and have the same questions in my head. You said you are seeing each other and used to meet often. Maybe you should talk to him about his work and try to figure what's keeping him so busy. If he really likes you too, he might actually like this support and concern. I hope this works out for you. Xo
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