A
female
age
30-35,
*issundaztood
writes:I'm 22 years old and I am in a relationship where ironically the sterotypical roles are reversed. My boyfriend (25) and I have been dating for a little over two months. Funny how it happend...I was in a 4 year relationship in one place then moved to another place to be with him. I got fired from my job, which is where I met my new boyfriend (X) around the same time and decided use my last check to get me back home...X told me to stay with him. With his mom. I know, freakin weird but she was totally cool with it, but he was having NO SEX in his moms house. Period. I understood. We actually got our own place 3 weeks later by the grace of God and moved out of moms. By this time it had been a month we've been dating and no sex. The first night in the new place however he came on to me...strong! It was wonderful and we both agreed that we were happy that we had waited. Well....after that night I've never felt that way again. Why? Because he doesn't have sex with me. I mean we do it but its always me who comes on to him and that's like every other day (which is still not enough for me) I actually noticed myself being the one to initiate it everytime ( I've also been on top EVERY time including the very first time) so I stopped for 2 weeks. He came on to me twice during that time. I know there are relationships out there where they don't have any sex except for birthdays and such...but we've only been dating for a couple months, were still at that lusty infatuation stage. The chemistry is all there. He makes me laugh and he's such a sweetheart. But as far as intimacy, he doesn't even touch me in bed when I'm naked! Every night when i get home from work and he's already home watching netflix I sit on the couch with him just being cool for like 5 hours until I decide to go to sleep and he's still glued to the t.v. one time he didn't come to bed until 7am because he was playing COD xbox live and watching movies. I feel complete sexual neglect and I don't want to be the one who says "hey, could you f*** me more? Like everyday, twice a day more? Could you?" because I don't want him to think I'm a too needy or that I'm only about sex. I've asked him specific questions about his sex life way before we were even dating so I know he's got plenty of experience. Maybe he's intimidated by our racial differences? I've been researching the sex dilemma online (I took our astrological differences into consideration..everything checked out he's a Sagittarius I'm an aries) I've talked to a couple good guy friends, a couple good girl friends, a couple strangers even and its starting to get to the point where I'm running out of ideas. I mean, does he even want me? Or is just that casual? Its gotten so bad that one time I've layed next to him in bed with no clothes on crying to myself while he was way on the other side of the bed with headphones on. I've contemplated infidelity a few times honestly but he has done nothing wrong (technically) and morally that wouldn't sit right with me. I've also contemplated buying a vibrator since my fingers have been worked out for the past 2 months...WHAT SHOULD I DO? I need some real honest advice. Stay, leave, talk, cheat? Someone please help my frustration!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): "I am in a relationship where ironically the sterotypical roles are reversed"Believe it or not, the woman having the higher sex drive is a lot more common than you might think. A quick Google search for "he doesn't want sex enough" or something along similar lines should suffice to show you you're not alone.I would say sex every other day is still pretty frequent, although it does sound like he has some issues in distancing himself from you. Sorry to be negative but the general trend in such cases is for things to get worse over time, not better.Keep track of his level of interest, and be prepared to seriously consider the future of this relationship if things don't improve.
A
male
reader, burberrypie  +, writes (20 August 2011):
Sounds like he has some issues he is dealing with,
What's his family life like, and at what age did you both move out of his mom's house?
I agree with the other post, tell him no next time he fancies a taste.. claim the power back and have him treat you to a weekend away, or something else before you are intimate with him again.
Best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): You have been trying your very best to try to interest him. It would seem that he is in a serious doldrums mode. Astrologically you should be matched, if that is any consolation. Hi online addictions make me wonder if he is depressed? Or using it as an escape? You could try reading this article and see if there are any tips that might help?http://www.dearcupid.org/question/spicing-up-your-sex-life.htmlDon't even think of cheating. I think he would break up with you immediately if you did that. He sounds very conservative. And not a player. He just need sto learn how to pleasure you. Do not bother to buy a vibrator as that might make him feel inadequte and then your problem will only get worse. But a vibrator is not the only thing you can use :)And sometimes tell him you do not want sex (yes, I know tough) but take the pressure off him and tell him you only want him to pleasure you with foreplay to orgasm but no penetration. Try seeing how hard that will be for him. Hopefully very. And might peak his interest for "his time" next :)
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