A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for seven months now, and we both know that we are meant for each other. However, a year and a half ago i ended a relationship with another man because he cheated on me bad and treated me like absolute shit. i was with him for two and a half years and found it was hard to get over wat happend.. so i had this other rebound guy and i ended up sleeping with him. i immediatly regreted this decision i dont even know why i did it.i also went back to the guythat cheated on me and slept with him aswell, i coudlnt let him go, i was so used to him being there it was hard for me to let him go. and i also immediatly regreted that desicion. 6 months later i slept with another man, and wasnt even my decision. i didnt want it. he forced me to and i said no. i was under the influence of alcohol and i regret that night aswell.so in total there are three sexual encounters with men i havnt been dating. Now.. my boyfriend cant accept what ive done. he is a catholic and i was his first person to have sex with. he cant accept i have been with other people and that he hasnt.. hes called me easy and just doesnt like it.its all that he thnks about when im not with him.i love him so so so much and no one has ever ever made me more happy than he makes me. we are so happy together when we arnt fighting about this issue.i really dont know wat to do.. i wannna stay with him forever and he wants that too.. but he just cant accept the fact i have been with other people.can anybody help? anyone else in the same situation?
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female
reader, penta  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 No one can change their past. If he can't leave it in the past, then the two of you have no future. Put it to him that bluntly. And if he keeps holding it over you, hold your head up and leave with no regrets. Anything less will make you miserable.BTW, you've done nothing wrong. We all make mistakes and learn from them. Since you've learned from yours, make a resolution to never do them again (to yourself, because your self-opinion is what matters here) and move on. And the fact that your BF blames you for being raped (which is essentially what happened) is beyond reprehensible. IMHO. It doesn't say good things about him, or his judgment, or his ability to support someone he says he loves (you). Think about that too. Good luck hon.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): He totally has a right to his opinion, especially if he hasn't engaged in premarital sex himself.But he does not have the right to know this stuff about your past and then later decide he can't tolerate the facts. If he couldn't tolerate your past then he should never have decided to date you in the first place. It's not fair to you for him to decide that he's okay with it for a while and then change his mind the more serious things get. It's possible that he may have thought he could deal with it at first, but then as his feelings for you increased it got harder and harder for him to accept it. I find it totally understandable that this could happen, but it still doesn't make it okay for him to treat you this way from now on. You should not have to be his half-accepted girlfriend because of something that you did before he was even with you. He needs to either accept your past (without any asterisks or big long-term grudges), or else he should have enough respect to break up with you and admit he shouldn't have dated someone with a past that he couldn't accept in the first place.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): You could try telling him that you do regret it all and that it was an accident (If it was) and now that you're with him you won't sleep with anyone else and that the past is the past. As he is catholic we obviously will find it hard but sit down and talk about it and hopefully you'll get it sorted.
Good luck,
Peterk5699 =] (On a different computer, hence not logged on)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): He's being a jerk. He knew your past before he had sex with you, correct? What makes him any different than you or any of these guys? He may be "Catholic" but he isn't married to you so he is in the wrong according to his religion too. By the way all the Catholics I have known have been big hypocrites & very selfish people. Tell him proudly that if he can't get over your differences than he needs to go find someone he approves of. It's bull crap that he is with you, but he ridicules you for your past. If he wants to be with you he should accept you. He knows you regret these things & it's not all that bad anyways. A lot of people have done a lot worse than you. He has absolutely NO right to be throwing this in your face. Tell him he must be easy too because he thinks you're easy but he had sex with you. What a hypocrite.
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