A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hay guys is it ok to have sex with an x? right heres my story! we broke up 3 weeks ago and been meeting to hang out as friends eva since as we have kinda been mates before! weve been having a right laugh, a bit of flirting then the other night we slept together a few times! now hes says he wants to meet up again! i still love him and we broke up as we had a long time apart with me been at uni and hes feelings have changed and doesnt love me anymore! but when he was drunk he didnt want any guy to go near me and told me he still cares!now were meeting up thursday for a drink again and probably sex! he has made it clear in texts that it is just a bit of fun is it wrong to hope that maybe this fun maybe become a bit more?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you forr all your replys ive decided to keep seeing him ie going on dates with him and that! and ive also met 2 other males whom in interested in that im gonna start dating and maybe some were along the line ill get over him! both the guy have been freinds of mine so they no about the situation and there being really nice about it so we will see how it goes i guess xxxthank you again x
A
male
reader, simon008  +, writes (18 September 2007):
..well, from a man, I must say that it's typical for this situation, that the girl is hoping for something, but says that she isn't, and the guy is showing more care than he actually mean, because we have such a high sex drive. And yes, to care and be jealous I have also been on my ex, even though I didn't love her anymore. We have the instinct to hunt and protect.. a f..buddy is the dream of most guys. So please, be real to yourself..wish you the best!
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 You could get very hurt. Friends "with benefits" is fine if (and only if) both people are in the same place (no one wants more). But you're not there. You're hoping to get back with him. He's been very clear about what he wants, and a relationship with you is NOT what he wants. He wants no-strings-attached sex.
The big problem here is that while you're having sex with him, you're not allowing your heart to heal and move on. It's like ripping the scab off the wound every time you do it. You need to stay away from him until you're indifferent to him. Only then will you be able to find the guy who wants what you want.
Good luck hon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Well it is not necessarily wrong for you to have sex with him if that's what you want and you are safe. But it is TOTALLY wrong for you to think that something more is going to come out of it. He already told you that he does not love you anymore. He already told you that he just wants to have fun. So don't try to fool yourself.
And who cares what he said when he was drunk?? Or that he acted jealous?? That means nothing, especially after what he said. Do you know how many untrue things I have said when I was drunk?? Like a million. I have told guys that I love them while I was drunk. And I didn't at all. I don't know why I said that. I was drunk! When you are drunk you feel less inhibited but that does not mean that there is any truth to what you say or how you think you feel.
So don't expect anything out of this encounter. In fact, if you still love him, I would not have sex with him. Because he is going to be so cold and aloof. And that is going to hurt you even more. And he is probably not going to call you for a while afterwards. It sounds like you are setting yourself up for heartbreak.
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A
male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (17 September 2007):
Make sure you know that it is just for fun otherwise you will end up getting hurt. If you are deep down hoping somthing more may come from it when he has made it clear otherwise, you are simply setting yourself up for heartache.
It can be difficult to have 'fun' with an ex because of the history involved, one side may end up feeling used.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): If that's all he wants is sex & fun & has made it clear that that's all he wants then you should not expect more. For all you know he could have a girlfriend. If you're going to get hurt over this, you shouldn't meet him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): If you're not with someone and wanna have a little bit of fun then I, personally don't think there's a problem. You might even hit it off again.
So I don't think there's anything to worry about as long as you're both clean it'll be fine.
Good luck,
Peterk5699 =] (I'm on a diferent computer, thus not logged on)
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