A
female
age
41-50,
*uylinda
writes:This could possibly be the worst week of my life. Exactly this time last week I asked for help and advice with my bf and the interference of his ex gf. My last post told how I'd confronted him and he had refused to lay boundaries. The following day of the confrontation he contacted me because he had had time to think and had decided he wasnt going to chuck what we have away, he requested to talk to me and he openly agreed to set boundaries.You'd think I'd be on cloud 9 right now yeah? That he had put me first, that he genuinely cared and adored me. I thought we'd overcome an important test in our relationship and stepped up a levelWell it all came crashing down just days later. The issue of his ex was like a pebble in a pond, what comes next is a tsunami. I came across a random centrelink/social security letter, which stated his date of birth.He told me he is 23, a year younger than myself.In reality he is 31, born in 1976.Words cannot explain the way I've been operating ever since this bombshell. I feel like Ive been hit by a train. Its consuming me. Emotional zombie sums it up. I cant stop crying.The confrontation was cold and heartless. Not only can he give me no explanation, but he also claims to not care to have deceived everyone he has ever met in Melbourne (he has only been here 2 yrs, previously living interstate). Vaguely he thinks he may have started it when he met girls and guys who were younger and he did it to fit in, then felt he had to keep it up. If he doesnt care, then why lie????????!!!!! He refuses to account for the 8yrs of nothingness, I want to know who he really is and all he says is "this is who i am", although admits it only started when he moved here. I hurts so much. Yet I feel so foolish, because right now, at this stage, I cant bring myself to hate him. I have fallen for him, and everything he is! I still like him, I cant help it and I am ashamed for feeling so. He says he still feels the same about me, admits I dont deserve it, that he should have told me. He did see a future with me, that he would have to eventually confessed. He admits to guilt, feeling bad, but he refuses to show it. He isnt begging for forgiveness, not asking to work anything out, isnt showing remorse, and I HATE that I would like him to! It kills me that he is cold and uncaring, he himself says I shouldn't want him back. I cant believe that right now I would have been blissfully unaware! He would have been sitting right next to me on the couch at this very moment!!!I am shocked. Confused. Not knowing what to think, feel or do (if anything) about it. I met him in public today and gave all of his stuff back to him. After he just sat there with me. I asked him if he would take matters into his own hands and confess now that i knew. He said he didnt care. I asked, once more, why he did it if he didnt care. He couldnt, and didnt answer. We just sat there, it was almost like he wanted to not leave, to behave like we used to but he couldnt bring himself to do so. Eventually I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said no, so i left.I cant say how things would have ended up if he had of confessed earlier. Age is not the problem, its the lying! WHY has he done this? What makes someone do this?! He has betrayed me and my trust, and deceived all of my friends and family! Was I just a part in some twisted play and he was pulling the strings!?What do I do? How does a person recover from having their heart twisted and ripped out like this? Who do I tell? I am so lost in this moment and Im not sure if I'll ever get past it let alone trust someone again...............
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Muylinda +, writes (17 September 2007):
Muylinda is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, he didnt "brake up with me". I ended it, then he came through with the goods.....so to say.
And now neither person broke it off....its just....stopped...
A
female
reader, Muylinda +, writes (17 September 2007):
Muylinda is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, he didnt "brake up with me". I ended it, then he came through with the goods.....so to say.
And now neither person broke it off....its just....stopped...
...............................
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