| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hey I'm 19 years old, been with my girl for a few years. Recently I got really curious about sex with someone else so I asked her about experimenting with threesomes/swinging/open relationships. She agreed reluctantly so we are now in an open relationship though we have not had any threesomes or anything.Since we started this about 3 months ago, she has had sex with 3 different guys (with one of them she has had sex 6 different times, the others were one night stands). She is having a blast and I admit I am pretty jealous.I have had a few opportunities to have sex with other women but when it came down to actually kissing them or having sex, I just thought of my girlfriend and realized there is no one else I want to kiss or have sex with. So I have not had sex with anyone but her and I no longer really want to. I realize now that it was just a passing curiosity and now that I CAN have sex with others I really don't want to... it was a case of "the grass is greener" I think..Anyway, how do I take it back so to speak.. she seems to like the open relationship, I want to close it again, I can't stand the idea of her sleeping with other men anymore. I really regret it. It bothers me, I am jealous (but I don't show it because it was my idea to begin with). I am worried that if I say I want to be exclusive she will say she is not interested in me anymore.Help... I am jealous and confused
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female
reader, Yargh  +, writes (15 October 2007):
 If you two have been together since age 16 or so I can understand why you might have started to feel curious. You are young, and probably full of hormones. Unfortunately it seems that you have opened up Pandora's box here. Your girlfriend seems to enjoy racking up sex partners, which may be a reaction to newfound freedom, or simply the way she would have been living at 19 were she single. If I were you I would talk to her honestly about it. If she feels fine and happy with having sex with various men then you might want to move on. If she feels confused or has any regrets you may have some hope of taking it back. At your age it may be hard to maintain a serious relationship, so if she likes the current setup I think you should let things go for now. You both may need some time to grow and mature before you commit.
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