A
female
age
51-59,
*9BFL
writes:i have been seeing this guy who i have very strong feelings for and i dont know where i fit into in his life. I have known him for a year now through college and he is absolutly lovely. He makes me laugh and feel secure. However, even though we have both explained to each other that we have strong feelings we seem to want different things. I want a relationship and he doesn't. He told me that i am the only one he can really talk to and trust and for these reasons he does not want a relationship because in the end he will lose me. In an attempt to have the relationship i want i have been sleeping with him. It has turned into a relationship without the name tag. Why does he not want to admit we are basicly going out?Please advice or opinions would be appreciated! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, trueheartconfused  +, writes (4 May 2007):
He doesn't want a relationship but doesn't mind sleeping with you !
Doesn't sound like a lovely guy at all. Seme people are just not meant for each other, you both want differnt things, why do you want to be whith a guy that can not give you what you want ?
Using sex to exchange for love and affection is never a good idea, we've all been there, women connect sex with love , we tend to use sex to bond with the person we love , but men are built differently , he is more than happy to just sleep with you without taking any emotional responsibilities. The more you sleep with him , the less he has respect for you .
So stop the sex , if he wants to be just frind, then you can still be friends, in the mean time , find a man who can give you want you want - a meaningful realtionship.
A
female
reader, miss fit  +, writes (4 May 2007):
treat this relationship like waxing- rip it off quick before it gives you a nasty rash which makes it about three times more painful ripping it off. its acrap metaphor but you get the idea.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): OMG! You should tell him u either want a relationship or ur done having sex with him. It seems like he's only in it for the sex or else he is ashamed of u if he won't admit u guys r together. You really need to take control and stop pleasing him. Do something for yourself.
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