A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,My boyfriend and i have been having HUGE issues lately, I really don't know why they started, the things he does are kinda making me mad though. He gets mad over every little thing i do wrong, he is always angry, he has been ignoring me sexualy, and he will not even talk to me about anything anymore. I don't want to leave him because he used to be very kind, and well all that other stuff. I am starting to wonder is it because he's bi and im gay, could he posibly be cheating on me with a girl? Oh well please help me!Thank you,DJ Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): We have read your message and see that you need help. We know what you explained to us about what was going on. Here are some examples that we hope you will be able to use I hope you decide to move on and face that fact that the relationship is over. It’s best if you accept the relationship is over, explain why it’s over, move on, focus on yourself, find happiness in other aspects of your life. Accepting a realtionship is over is the first step to move on. As Darren G. Burton author of the book,"When its over. How To Mend That Brocken Heart," states, "If you find yourself falling into this trap, if your ex is keeping you hooked with false promises of hope, get out of limbo land as fast as you can. Ignore the feeling that will fight and struggles against your decision. You have to get out of that scenario. Its soul destroying." Everyone goes through bad relationships and it is hard to move on even more if the relationship was good once. You seem to at loss here; its not fair to you. The logical step is to move on and leave your partner behind before you get hurt beyond repair. Once you are convinced your relationship is over, you have to be strong and let your partner know why it’s over. Explain the reasons why you are letting him go. For example, tell him you have noticed he gets upset at for every little thing you do or say, “…it could be a sign that someone is looking for an excuse to leave the relationship (How to Know When a Relationship is Over).” Things are just not working out like they were in the past. Tell him how you feel and the doubts you have towards him due to his current “…bedroom behaviors…seems uninterested in sex or other displays of affection, this could indicate that your partner either wants to avoid having an emotional connection with you… (How to Know When a Relationship is Over).” It has gotten to a point where it makes you believe that you are not satisfying him anymore and that he has found someone new who is. Another example to let your partner know this relationship has come to an end is by letting him know that "…it is not healthy for either…to stay in the relationship… (How to Know When a Relationship is Over).” It can cause you both psychological problems and will make it very difficult to move on and start dating again. By venting out this way and actually acknowledging the relationship is over yourself, you have taken the first two most difficult steps into moving on to a much healthier relationship. Moving on is going to be a process but not as difficult as your first steps.Ending a relationship is never pleasant, but knowing that facing the new era without guilt or rancor will allow us to start again. It is best to avoid recreating bitterly in what could have been but was not, and start rebuilding our lives with optimism and freedom. Distance and time are needed in many cases to get a better understanding of the causes of the separation and find strength to overcome it. We wonder if we ever find someone to share our lives with, or whether we will be alone forever. To overcome the pain you will have to accept that you are sad. Therefore, if you do want to cry, and externalized pour over everything you have inside. However, do not let yourself fall into depression or bitterness. Express your anger. Avoid thinking "I’ll never get over it”. The moment you decided to separate yourself from that person who may not deserve your company you will notice that there’s a world out there waiting with lots of great things in store for you. You are worth as much as anyone else. Make all your dreams possible and do not fall in vain agony that will not lead you to anything. Be positive or try to see the positive side by telling yourself I'll make it.Annette Colby believes that, “The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.” When you love yourself you also allow yourself to be happy and to share love with others. Annette Colby believes, “Rather than always looking to the other person to make you feel secure in your relationship, get into the habit of reassuring yourself.” Self-love is the most important love anyone can ever have. Before anyone starts loving others they should first know what it’s like to know how to love themselves and know how they would like others to love you. Sometimes it’s not easy to not settle for someone but the right person is out there waiting to be found. Love and happiness isn’t always found in a relationship you can always find it somewhere else.Getting over a break up can be one of the most difficult, yet totally rewarding, roads to self-discovery and self-love. It is amazing how much we can grow and improve through grief and emotional pain. One of the best ways to get over a break up can be trying new hobbies or finding you again. Find something creative to do something that will require you to focus and get interested. For example join a gym, sign up for an art class, or go out with your friends. Try things that you enjoy or activities that you’ve always wanted to try. The key thing is for you to stay busy and get your mind of the relationship. Your friends and close family members are always a source of advice and guidance. Talk to them. People that love you will help you see that you should love yourself too. Find other aspects of your life that you’ve neglect over the relationship. Find yourself again and the person you where before you had this relationship dilemma.DJ, realize that your boyfriend is not the right match for you. Focus on yourself, and find other was to be happy. Move on with your life and don't live in the past. Accept the relationship is over. If you decide to continue the relationship with your boyfriend, it will only lead to you being unhappy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): Relationship as defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “an emotional or other connection between people.” Although, the definition states “connection between” individuals, it does not specify that the ‘connection’ is limited to one individual. That ambiguous quality seems to leave way for subjective interpretations. That is, it leads some people into forming particular interpretations as to what a relationship constitutes. Some believe in engaging in multiple intimate relationships; others believe that an intimate relationship should only be between two individuals. One may think that these ideologies will never coincide, but the reality is that they do. When this happens it causes emotional harm, which can manifest itself in the form of infidelity, insecurity, communication, sexuality.
The word infidelity scares many women and men because they are afraid of being hurt by their partner. A cheating spouse can cause their partner to become insecure and even depressed. Cheating can shatter a person’s self-esteem and start to compare themselves to their partner’s other mate. This comparison causes a person to punish themselves and making them feel unworthy. According to the article Signs of Low Self-esteem by Inner Works Counseling & Publishing, some signs of low self-esteem are “self-blame, self-criticism, or constantly putting others down through guilt, blame, shame, or faultfinding. Finding forgiveness difficult.” These signs are very common in victims of cheating partners.
People sometimes ignore signs of infidelity because they are afraid to be alone. The article Seven Signs of Infidelity by Suite 101 recommends to read out these steps on a possible cheating spouse: “sudden change in appearance, unexplained spending, change in telephone usage, change in computer usage, disinterest in couple/family activities, lies and excuses, sudden change in behavior.” Taking this in consideration, it might lead to realize that your spouse has been cheating. If that is the case, remain calm because there’s hope. There are other signs that a partner may be cheating; for example, lipstick on a shirt or condoms in his pockets. These signs are stronger evidence that a partner may be cheating.
One strategy for a healthy relationship is communication. If a couple does not communicate where does that lead to? The situation can lead to insecurity, misunderstandings, and arguments among couples. Why would any couple want to go through such situation? Having misleading thoughts about their partner is going through stress or depression. When a couple communicates, they let each other know about what they are thinking and how they feel. This helps clear insecurity, misunderstandings and prevents arguments. In your case, when was the last time you and your partner had a conversation without arguments? Even though you say he will not talk to you, it is best you sit down with him and ask him what is wrong. Try to find out what he is going through, and ask what is causing him to change so much towards you. If he stills insists on not speaking with you; tell him how this situation makes you feel, he may not talk to you, but he can listen to what you have to say
Sexuality is everywhere on the television, radio, and magazines. The object of sexual activity in human is typically to achieve an orgasm. Some pleasures can be experience during foreplay, fetish, and flirting. Some enjoy different sex activities while others won’t have sex based on religious reason. Also, some people enjoy being with one partner while others enjoy being with multiple partners at a time. Everyone has a sexual orientation desire for people of the opposite gender, same gender, or both genders.
A healthy relationship is based on the couple having to talk about situations and understanding each other. Be appreciative of the small things. Learn from mistakes try not to make them constantly. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present. Dedicate time to each other no matter how busy the day is. For example, a way to communicate with your partner is by going out to dinner, watching a movie, or playing a sport. Enjoy each other’s company by laughing and sharing good moments and making the best of it. It is very important not to stress yourself over arguments. Have given you the seven signs of infidelity and pointed out to communicate with your partner. Also outlined tips on sexuality and a bit of advice on how to have a healthy relationship. Hopefully, with the bit of help your issues will be solved. If you seek more advice or if this current advice was not enough; seek help again, no worries help is here! Do not let this problem get to you because there are many more men waiting to meet the perfect guy. If your boyfriend does not know how to cherish what he has right in front of him, someone else will. For now, work things out if this same problem persists then maybe it is not you. Hope this advice helps, good luck and take care!
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A
male
reader, Kokoro +, writes (17 May 2011):
 Ok this was my question before i got on this page, i say he may be cheating because he had a girlfriend before he had me and he's been texting her and hanging out with her more then me the past few days. I can under stand the depresed part because he just got back from war and stuff and it aparently really sucked. So thank you i will try talking to him about it.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (16 May 2011):
 It sounds like there's a big issue between the two of you or going on with him, and to make yourself feel better, you're deciding that if things aren't good - he must be gay or cheating. That's not very fair. Don't jump to conclusions!
It seems like there is something on his mind, something bothering him that is effecting how he acts around you and is stressing him out to the point of not being interested in sex. I couldn't tell you what's going on since there's not a lot of detail and more simply: I just don't know the guy.
The best thing to do is to talk to him. Make the talk in a calm environment, don't be confrontational, just be there and available to talk to. Make yourself approachable - maybe he's afraid to tell you because it turns into a fight when he does. If he's being a jerk though, maybe its time to reevaluate the relationship - you should not be with someone who treats you badly. Listen to your gut on that one.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, jp23 +, writes (16 May 2011):
 You didn't give a lot of information to work with lol, but I will try and figure it out. Critical thinking: I would ask him:I have things that have been on my mind lately. why is everything falling apart lately. How are the little things I am doing making you react so nagitvely. Can we work on these things because I care about you and I want to have a positive relationship with you. Are you dealing with things right now thats causing friction between us? Please be honest, I really need some sort of comformation on what your thinking about, bec I dont like that things are unhealthy between us. Sch as in our sex life, it's stopped. And you getting upset with me over the smallest things. Why do you think that is, would it be right if the circumstances were reversed. Would you not seek answers from me too? thats what I would tell him, maybe he is anti-social right now and you need to send him an email lol. Or go to a coffee shop,find a place to sit down thats quite nd talk to him one on one. Write down things that he has been doing lately. Over all main points, so you can stay on topic. I wouldn't jump out and say are you cheating lol, he maybe but if he isn't it's noly going to make him close up even more. Keep on the main points what you have observed from his behavor, and not having sex either. He could be depressed, and thats why he doesn't want to have sex, maybe thats why he is pulling away. maybe he is confused about if he does want to be with a man or not, maybe he wants kids with a wife. But I cant really say for sure. I'm guessing. But don't jump to any conclusions. If he is or not cheating. You have to have a serious chat with him and slowly unravel it with him. he needs you to hold his hand and basicly go through everything one by one. Just scratch the surface with the sentces I put in the second paragraph and slowly figure it out with him if you can. Asking him to have coffee with you would make him maybe more comfortable to chat.
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