A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has cheated over ten times in our home and outside our house. It's always sex and talking on the phone he says he loves me everyone says it's true, you can tell he loves you more then anything but nobody can explain or undersand why he does this to me. He was never a cheater until his ex cheated. Does he have a problem?? I need help we are happy but he talks to new females then sleeps with them. He always tells them about me. He will lie and say we are taking a break or we are real ko. I love him to death and I felt he could change but I'm starting to feel different and it's so hard to leave after 4 years no kids just a dog we both love. I feel like I can live without him
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Hi,
Think about this, if we all had evidence that our boyfriend was a cheater after four years of being together, and not one time but constantly, do you think we would consider staying with that person? You are not a door mat.
Something triggered your boyfriend to start cheating, maybe at first he was taking revenge on his ex, who knows. Now he is caught up in this serial cheating situation. He needs help, try to get him to see a therapist, he needs to realize that this is not good behavior. You, yourself have to realize that if you continue to stay with him, four years or not, love him or not, you are devaluing yourself, you do not deserve this type of treatment, it can lead to depression, with you thinking there is something wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with you, but you have to lift your self esteem. Do you feel he respects you when he does this? He has the problem, but you will suffer on and on, if you stay in this untenable relationship. Lots of people
love folks who are not good for them, but if they think it will turn into a destructive situation for them, they run, not walk away from them. Love is not always enough.
You must believe, that there will be someone who will have mutual respect for you as a person, don't settle for this awful situation. You should talk to someone professional to find out why you accept this. You are worthy of respect, do not talk yourself into believing that this is what you deserve. He has to decide if he will be committed in the relationship or not. Good luck with this and your future. Please don't accept less than you deserve.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 February 2008):
 It sounds to me like the only one happy in the relationship is him. He gets to have you and the other women on the side as he thinks he knows you won't leave him. He is a liar, as you said, but how do you know what he says to the other women? I'm curious if you know his 'spiel' from them or from him.
He doesn't sound like a long term prospect to me. You said you don't have children; do you know if he has other children out there?
He seems to have a problem but my guess is that he doesn't think he does.
If I were you, I would pull back from the relationship and evaluate what I want in my future. If you're going to spend your life wondering what he's doing when you're not around, not to mention worrying about what kind of STD's he could infect you with, and most of all, knowing that he can lie if it suits his purposes. There are men out there who want a committed relationship with no drama; perhaps you should think about what kind of relationship you really want.
I think you know the answer to your own question, you just need the support to make a break...
All the best, and let us know how it works out.
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A
female
reader, red1982  +, writes (12 February 2008):
I agree with Mandy.
I don't doubt that your boyfriend loves you but he will not stop cheating on you without help. I would definitely say that he has a problem, because he does it knowing that it will hurt you, yet he loves you. He also knows now that even if he does do it again you will take him back,and you need for him to stop sleeping with other women else you'll lose all self respect and self esteem. Not to mention untold diseases that he may pick up. Or fathering another woman's child.
Tell him that he needs to seek help or that you're leaving until he gets it.
I hope he does, because it sounds like you really love him, and that everything is fine except this.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (12 February 2008):
 If you feel like you can live without him, then why dont you?
I beg to differ about the love side of things. No one could possibly cheat that many times and tell the women he cheats with you have both split, if they truly loved you anyway. Hes probably a sex addict.
Hes having his cake and eating it, and putting your health at risk in on the deal.
Sounds like both of you are real happy :o)
:o/
C xxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): Hi Hunny
His ex cheated not you, This is not right at all if he loves you then he needs a shock, Leave go and see then if he tells the next girl the truth that you are on a break. I wouldnt put up with this crap from anyone an neither should you. In your bed sweetheart come on! You will in the end have no respect left for him to care what he does if you want this to work then you have to show him you have had enough and if he wants you then he better stop shagging other girls and pronto. YOU REALLY NEED TO PULL OUT THE SHOCK FACTOR! As he thinks he can just do this as nothing is happening to stop this vicious circle, And his insecurity from his previous g/f is still there he needs constant reasurrance that he is wanted loved. This is not the way to get it hunny, He needs to see someone and talk about why he is doing this and get help then maybe your relationship may work TAKE CARE OF YOU HUNNY WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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