A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:There is this girl who is very special to me.She has been a huge help with me going through a very difficult time in my life.I too have been very helpful to her as she is going through a divorce. She has a little girl and seems a little concerned about being sad and lonely for the rest of her life. I personally know that as she is gorgeous and a lovely person that there will be no problem. I may have rose tinted glasses but there you go.I have known her for a while and have always been very fond of her. Now I am totally in love with her. We text each other quite a lot and I do worry about her being by herself or with her soon to be ex who is a nutter and occasianally a bit out of control.Im petrified that if I tell her about it it will destroy our friendship if she does not think about me in any other way than as a friend. I'm a bit older than her (not weirdly older) but she is very mature for her age and perhaps is looking for a bit of stability for her little girl after the nutter she has just ditched.So, do I just come clean or do I try to woo her over a period of time - which is best and which gives the best chance of keeping her friendship if she doesnt feel the same way ?
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 As much as your emotions tell you to confess, what does your inner voice tell you about the situation?
Has this girl healed from her failed marriage yet? If she is not convinced that she can find love again then it is likely that she has not yet healed, has self-esteem issues, and needs to right the ship before she can have a healthy relationship with a man.
Don't put yourself into a position where you become the rebound relationship. If she is worthy of your love then be patient. She needs support, and you can be her support system. Prove to her first that she is worthy of loving herself. If she can achieve that, see what happens to her outlook on life and relationships.
Take things one step at a time. If you love her, then help her to get back on her feet without the noise of a romantic relationship.
Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, finchy +, writes (7 September 2006):
 why don't you say to her that you are wondering if she likes u more than a friend?!?!. tell her you like her but dont want to spoil your friendship.
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