A
female
age
30-35,
*il-angel182
writes:my bf and i have hit a really rough patch he is talkin about breakin up as i think the age diff between us is gettin to him (am 16 and he is turnin 22) i really dont want it to be the end but he keeps talkin about how he doesnt want to rush things cause am 16 and we're not we're going slow too slow i think but he just came out of the blue yesterday and told me he doesnt think it is workin but now he is sayin he needs to clear my head. we are supposed to meet on sat to talk face to face about this but is there anyway i can get him to stay or to tell him that am ready for more and to stop treatin me like a lil girl Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Hi lil-angel182,
Sorry it didn't work out for you, sending big hugs and blessings your way. It's probably for the best, he's not the right man for you at the moment. The guy your waiting for, who loves you with all his heart is only a street away, and now your free, he'll find you and everything will be alright. Thanks for the update.
A
female
reader, lil-angel182 +, writes (2 June 2008):
lil-angel182 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for all your advice but sadly it didnt work out well. He told me he not wanting a relationship the now and that he doesnt know when he will and that he just not wanting the commitment and also that the age gap was beginning to get to him he thought he could handle it but it just kept naggin at him so we finished :( we are still going to be friends though as it ended very well with no bad feelings on either side so think there is a big chance of us stayin mates and who knows what will happen in the future
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): Your boyfriend sounds like an old fashioned gentleman. I like him. He's older than you and is aware of your youth. He remembers what it's like to be 16 and he's aware of the opportunities and experiences that he's denying to you. There's nothing like being 16, pretty and well dressed, out with your girlfriends and having three men that are fighting over you. (ahh.... good memories)
He sounds like he loves you and is trying to protect you. Your just too young at the moment, he feels guilty, he feels like a pervet. He feels like he's stealing your youth.
You want to keep him, then try to act like a mature woman. This will be hard, because you are not mature, not like the women of his own age. You will have to talk and deal with him on a mature sensible level. Tell him your aware of the age difference but you love him. Try to develop your own interest and hobbies and go out with other people seperately from him. Then he will know that you choose to be with him, rather than your with him because you lack other choices. Mature women have so many interests and hobbies that a man is icing on the cake, rather than the whole menu.
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Remember it could be a smokescreen. it could be the nice excuse that only you should hear to let you down gently. or it could be a cry out for you to realise your too clingy and back off a bit and give some space. or it could be the truth. you need to really be sure of everything. ok now i will tell you how to recover the whole thing. lets imagine a rollercoaster. your at the bottom now with him and your close to the ride docking off and you getting your photos. but what your hoping for is for the operator to press the button that makes it go around again. How do we do that. Forget about the fact that you want to be serious with him because thats whats driving him away. no matter how hard it is. forget about what it is you want and you need to make him think. " wow i never realised you were so awesome" you have to play pscologically now. your going to have to suggest friends with benifits to him and see how it goes. give him some freedom and when you see him make sure its fun and a laugh. dont make any moves. leave him to do whatever he wants. do that for a while and go with the flow until you suddenly just get closer again. this time when you do get closer you will have re-inforced your foudations and the security will be built natrualy rather than artificially. when to people want the same things and they have it in thier heads then even if you dont express what you want it will automaticly happen. If you want more coaching on this matter then i will have to speak through msn instant messaging with you because there are so many different things i can say on this subject!
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