A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So this one is crazy. I have know this guy since i was in middle school. Had a crush on him then. I was the "ugly duckling and unpopular" girl so it never worked. I grew up and started hanging with him back in 2000. We have been friends ever since and very good friends. That turned into sexual tension a while ago between the two of us but no one admitted it till about 2 weeks ago. Well, I went to hang out with him last weekend and we ended up having sex. Sorta. He caught me off guard and I felt weird about it and basically gave him super blue balls. Not my intentions it's just what happened. Well, he called me to hang out the next night and we behaved ourselves. He calls, texts and stopped by my work last night. We talked about what happened and established it as being nerves. He told me he doesn't have much "sexual" experience and minimal partners. I said in a playful manner that I must be special, he tells me I am very special. I do not want to be in a relationship right now and neither does he but we both want the friends with benefits. The things he says leads me to believe he may have feelings for me. He told me he was gonna stop by my work again tonight. If he did have feelings for me then I guess it wouldn't be that terrible but then there would be a choice to make. He buys things for me ($250 bottle of Crystal) and we talk about things in life, goals, dreams, our perspectives on things. We are still good friends, I just do not want this to go south, do I need to back out?? Help please!
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female
reader, yoginipirate +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Sound like you're headed on into it. Why is there a choice to make if he has feelings for you, but no choice to make if he doesn't? I don't get it. Do you mean that you would have to be exclusive if he does care for you? No you don't. That's in your head. He can care for you all day long & you still have the same choices. Relationships are always changing...you can't freeze it. Oh, & don't assume that with a little experience that he won't be WONDERFUL in sack, it's all about the tuning in & if he's into you, the benefits will be VERY beneficial! Go with it, you're grown.
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