A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: please help! I have been with the same guy for a little over 2 years. We have been engaged for over a year of the 2 years we have been together, but he still hasnt told his parents. he doesnt plan on getting married anytime soon. He says it will happen in the next two years. Everytime i talk to him about this we end up in an argument. I cant help but to think if your man enough to ask some one to marry you then you need to be man enough to tell your parents. What is your opinion? what should i do? he says his parents would be really mad and dissaprove and he doesnt want to hear it he thinks it would make things harder on us but i just dont know.
View related questions:
engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 If he did not tell his parents and he is not planning to get married anytime soon... then you are NOT actually engaged, you are simply playing "fiancees" same as I used to do in 3rd grade when I had the boy sitting next to me "propose" with a cardboard engament ring.
Getting engaged is precisely about making your committment public and known to your families and community, AND perfecting it into a wedding within a reasonable amount of time.
I think he is wasting your time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): i broke off the engagement yesterday cause i felt that was the right thing to do but now i just feel so weird i still love him with all my heart but i feel like we took a step backwards and when he explains his side of the story it makes since but i cant help but be upset because just cause were engaged doesnt mean we are going to get married now it just means were planning on it and i just dont know why he cant man up and tell his parents on the other hand many people have asked his mother in front of me and my boyfriend they asked when we were getting married and his mother gets a lil aggravated and says not for a while so im sure she will disagree with it majorly but i just dont know! Is there anyway to learn to deal with this? Or get over it? Or any advice on how to make myself get over it cause i cant i feel so weird now and i hate it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Birdy said it all.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 What happens when he tells them and they get mad and dislike you because he has hidden this? Is that the way that you pictured this when you hoped to be someones wife?
I think the only solution is to give him back his ring and let him propose when he mans up.
Otherwise - you will always be second to his family and he won't be a proper husband by putting YOU first.
You should also be putting him first as well, of course, but not at the expense of your own sense of self worth.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): This guy is your boyfriend, not your fiance. I would drop all notions you are getting married and take that pressure off until he proposes with a ring and tells his family.
He's undecided on marriage and you'll just push him further away from by pushing your own agenda.
...............................
|
