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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 21 and have never had sex or done anything that relates to sex. Ive recently started seeing a boy whos a bit younger than me and is also a virgin. I'm a very shy person and whenever my boyfriend touches me or asks me to touch him i freeze and get very embarressd. I feel so stupid . He also asks me why im so quiet when he touches me and i cant orgasim as im so shy and nervous. I dont know what to do when the time comes when we sleep together, i dont want to feel embaressed and stupid, and keep thinking will it hurt or will he laugh at me during sex if i cant relax. please help! x
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female
reader, marie78 +, writes (14 November 2006):
Maybe you're not ready right now. Take things slow. Start with light touching and move on to more foreplay... be sure you're absolutely ready before having sex. You only get 1 first time. If you're uncomfortable with things, then tell him to slow down or stop. Also, you might want to think about the things that cause you to get embarassed... and deal with those issues first. Is it body image? Are you insecure about your looks? Whatever the issues are, explore them, and discuss them with your guy. He should be understanding- it definitely helsp men to understand what's going on with you. maybe you need him to reassure you that he cares or that you're beautiful- tell him what you need to feel comfortable. Also, young men watch a lot of porn and think all women should orgasm automatically... be sure to educate yourself and him on the female orgasm. It's more difficult for women to orgasm- it takes concentration, and he needs to know that as do you, so expectations aren't high. Good luck!
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