A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met this guy , married with two kids but he is just wow. We have been chatting though for about 3rys. I am now falling in love with this guy , I am married as well. The whole situation is such a turn on idont know what to do. Everytime am with this guy I feel so alive , something i have never felt with my husband. What must I do ? I am happy with this guy . What must I do . Somebody help me.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (28 September 2014):
Hi there. I guess the thrill you are feeling now, is the forbidden fruit situation.
Doing something, that you know is morally wrong.
And it feels exciting to you, because of this.
Or perhaps, the mystery of it you might also find attractive.
The real question is, what do you want to do about it?
Is it really worth it, to potentially destroy your marriage and the marriage of this man you are chatting to?
And supposing you decided to meet up and one thing led to another, and you ended up sleeping together.
Can you imagine the guilt you would feel, and this man would also have the same guilt.
And it would greatly affect how you behave when in the company of your husband.
It would affect every other area of your life.
And what if you DID sleep together, and it was very average for both of you, and then you regretted that HUGE mistake and thought to yourself - "What the HELL was I thinking!!"
Even if the sex was great - so would be your guilt.
You would be absolutely ridden with guilt, and you can't shake that guilt.
And nor can you pretend it didn't happen.
At the moment, it is just like a fantasy for both of you - a bit of mystery, something new and fun.
I can't tell you what to do, but you will have to live with the consequences of whatever decision you make.
If you both decided to take it further than just "chatting" online, well then it would simply be a matter of time before something happened and you were both seen by someone who knows at least one of you, and the word gets around and back to your spouses.
It's inevitable, as you are both playing with fire, here.
A better action to take - rather than fantasize about all this - could be to make your own lives more interesting, by starting some hobbies or interests, and going out with your spouses and doing fun stuff together.
Instead of the same ole same ole.
Unfortunately with many years of marriage behind us, we can all slip into a very comfortable but a bit dull existence, and choose to just sit and watch tv every night of the week and hardly ever go out.
And we can get into a deep rut, that we don't even realize we are in.
And that rut just gets deeper with time.
Life is what we make it.
We are each responsible for our own happiness, no-one else can make us happy.
It would be much wiser therefore, to make it a happy life - WITH your husband - instead of in the arms (potentially), of someone else.
Please, think about this very very carefully.
If you did take it further than just chatting, you could stand to lose a LOT.
And further on in time, should you pursue this, relationships which start from an affair, very often don't have any future at all.
The reason being, of how you met in the first place - from CHEATING on your spouses.
And so there is always the insidious doubt, that it will happen again - every single time one of you goes out alone at night, while the other stays home.
There is no trust, and that spells the beginning of the end.
And the end, before it really began.
The longer you pursue this chatting online with this man, the more you are going to be thinking about going further with it.
You will definitely be tempted.
The real question here is - "Is it really worth losing everything you have now in your life, for a few minutes of fun with a stranger?"
And to possibly spend the rest of your life regretting it.
And being alone.
|
