A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think I'm falling for my coworker, we have been working together for 6 months and I have never thought of him in that sense before. He never showed interest beyond just being friends, and neither have I, we always flirted and joked around but always genuinly without other intentions..I am in a commited relationship, and he is in a long distance relationship, I have been with my bf for one and a half years, and he with his gf for like 5 months.It started at the company happy hour, we all went home to change to go club hopping, I was alone that day because my bf was away on vacation. All the clubs were full so to make a long story short I ended up alone with him in his car.His expression suddenly changed and he said that he would give me the chance to get out of his car before he made a move on me. I was startled and surprised at first, and then it hit me that I always have been attracted to him at work. When he said that he was so sexy, I could not find myself to get out of his car.We kissed and messed around, it was so passionate, something I have felt before but never with my current bf. Afterwards we promised everything would continue to be the same at work, and we didn't agree to continue with whatever that was that happened.Now, everything is the same at work, but since that day I don't have the same feelings for my bf and I find myself thinking about him the whole day, there is so much tension whenever we find ourselves alone. Yesterday he quoted a song that represents that I should dump my bf and be with him, but other than that everything is just the same as it was.I'm getting mixed signals and I would hate to change my life right now, I'm in a stable relationship and I don't want to hurt my bf either. Is there any way I can get rid of my feelings for my coworker? Pls I'm desperate, I don't want to feel this way.. Tnx
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, flirt, long distance, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lost cartographer  +, writes (8 November 2012):
There are always going to be other people. After a relationship has lost its gloss you will find someone else who makes you feel alive again. THat is the nature of these things. It doesnt make the new person any better, and after a year your special connection will feel same old.
Now what do you do? Well I don't think that staying with your boyfriend is a wise move to be honest. I could use a cliche like he deserves better but that will prove little. At the end of the day once trust is gone so too is the relationship.
So do what you like. Remember though people come and go. Once you find someone you love you stop flirting, you stop needing others to make you feel attractive. I suggest you stop viewing the world as a confused 18 year old make a decision and stick to it. Life isnt all about one person's emotions. Cheating alone doesnt make you a bad person just selfish. Good luck I really hope you work this out :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): Ah you must be suffering. You need to have a really big think before you do ANYTHING. Write down all the things you value in your current relationship and seriously question if you still love your boyfriend. You have to ask why you didn't get out of the car. Maybe your feelings for your colleague come from things in your relationship not being right.
Could you live happily without your boyfriend? Could you be happy working with your lover? Be honest with yourself and if you decide to stay in your relationship you must tell the other man you have done this and there is no going back. Good Luck, time has a way of sorting things out. Keep calm and don't make any hasty irreversible decisions.
...............................
|
