A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my ex boyfriend again for the last 4 months. We were broken up for about 6 months and he was dating someone else for 4 months out of the 6 months we were broken up. He says they were not that serious but they did like each other. They also had a sexual relationship. My issue is since me and him are together again, he is still talking to his ex ( the girl he dated when we were broken up ). I'm kind of uncomfortable about it. I mean we are slowly trying to work on our relationship and rebuild what we had and everything, and a good amount of his focus is still on this other woman. I just find it uneccessary and inappropriate for him to still be friends with her and talking to her. I have talked with him about this and he gets upset and tells me I don't trust him and I'm taking this the wrong way. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2016): They're newly broken up and were still having sex a few weeks ago... She probably still wants to date him... What do you think they're talking about?
A
female
reader, wrathykins  +, writes (28 April 2016):
 Classic 'I want a girl on the back burner' move. If he really wanted to be with you, why on earth would he still be talking to her?
Dump this idiot and find a real man that is SERIOUS about you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 April 2016):
 He has a peculiar history of keeping the ex around while he’s with a new girlfriend. You were the ex just a few short months ago, remember?
Throw this bet-hedger back in the shallow pool from whence he slimed and don’t look back.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (28 April 2016):
 "if he says he wouldnt mind i think he is lying."
I think you are fooling yourself.
First rule...never go backwards...never go back to someone you left behind, unless it's a husband or wife, because you have invested a lot in that relationship.
He says he does mind because he really doesn't. If a guy has serious feelings for a woman, he will not be so easy on losing her to another man. Guys are very protective of what they consider important to them. He is doing it to you right now.
He considers the other woman more important to him than you, and that is why he is not willing to give her up so easily.
You are trying to make something work that did not work before. Do you really want to live with that level of insecurity in any relationship??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2016): Id talk to him again and ask him would he like it if you had seen another guy inbetween your break up and was still talking to him even tho your back with him , if he says he wouldnt mind i think he is lying. Why does he need to keep in contact with an ex ! even if they parted on good terms he should be telling her to leave him as you two are making another go of things and dont want anything or anyone to get in the way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2016): What should you do? Rethink getting back together with him of course. If he still talking to his ex, while he's with you, and obviously was talking to you while he was dating this girl so again he was talking to his ex with the new girl this guy has a problem with commitment. I would let this one go back into the dating pool. There are men who can understand that it is not conducive to a long and happy relationship that you keep on talking to your exes. If part of the reason you took him back was because you felt desperate and alone, I would suggest that you work on your self-esteem. If you're feeling helpless and unable to deal with his actions, then you should not be in a relationship with him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 April 2016):
 I'm with Ivy, I'd break up with him.
If he TRULY wants to start over with you, he needs to let HER go. Not keep her around as a spare. It's not fair to you, and not fair to her. It's actually pretty darn selfish of him.
You are wasting your time with this one. He think is by pulling the " you don't trust me card" you will do whatever he wants in order to show him JUST how much you trust him. I think he is actually COUNTING on you to do so. Why? Because he WANTS his cake (you) and eat it too (her).
Why so desperate to date him again, that you think you should put up with that crap?
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (28 April 2016):
 Break up with him. He's not serious, if he was he'd understand it from your perspective. If she were decent ,she would too if he told her and out of respect for his relationship with you wish him well and step out of the picture. He is being cruel.
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