A
female
age
41-50,
*pumie
writes:I've got trust issues with my boyfriend as he has cheated on me before. I try to let go of my in securities but it seems hard to let go. Now it seems like he has met someone new. He now takes good care of himself which is something he never did before and always busy to spend time with. My problem is we are about to move into a new house we have just bought and I'm scared how I'm going to handle this situation. He doesn't call as often as he used to. Am I losing him or is he cheating again?
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female
reader, mpumie +, writes (24 October 2012):
mpumie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you zaaleena and and johnsgirl1982. Everything you have said they make perfect sense. I have talked to him and he said that whatever that I'm thinking is not true and even whatever the pain he has caused me he is very sorry and I mean the world to him. So from now on ill make sure that I sit down and talk when I see problems. Thanks a lot guys. Lots of love.
A
female
reader, Zaaleena  +, writes (24 October 2012):
It sounds like you haven't totally forgiven or forgotten the past experience of cheating and as long as you feel like this you are going to be suspicious of his activities.
Maybe a possible suggestion is to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss how you are both feeling at the moment. Sadly you may not get the response you want (if you get one at all) but it may give you a clearer focus on the situation on the moment and whether you feel able to continue the relationship after the trust has been damaged.
As always I'm not in your shoes so do what's right for you.
Best wishes
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A
female
reader, Johnsgirl1982 +, writes (24 October 2012):
Hey, Im sorry you are dealing with this. I've been there before myself and it's not easy. At times when I tried to talk to my ex about it he would tell me I was paranoid, have too many conspiracy theories, that I am trying to find stuff to complain about etc. Well I was right! He was cheating....again. Ok first be sure you know what you are thinking is justified and that its not just insecurity or trust issues that make you see things different than they really are. Try things on the down low like following him, checking to see if he is where he says he will be, looking at his cell phone while he is asleep or talking to people he works with that DONT have a big mouth. Make sure before you move with him into this home that it isnt going to be a huge mistake. Women have an intution that I believe in. If you think he is up to something well, he probably is. If he has done it once then you have every right to worry.Have you tried talking to him about how you are feeling? Does he admit his behavior is different? Is this how he acted the first time he cheated? How long have you been with him? Please make sure you dont move til you are sure this is the man you want to continue lifes journey with. Good luck and please let me know how this turns out for you. If you can answer some of the questions I put in this reply it will be a little easier for me to tell you more about what I am thinking could help you.
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