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female
,
anonymous
writes: , Need some advise please.I have a guy in my life.we live in 2 separate cities.Weve been texting, talking and e-mailing everyday.I started to feel that he was backing of, especially after i asked him what was happening with us.He continued to text every day, but the frequency reduced and the content was no longer romantic.I sent him a really length e-mail, telling him about what i like about him and also all the things he's done to make me feel rejected. I told him, if he wants to remain friends, then i need him to back of for some time, but if he wants to start up again getting to know each other, then i need him to consider this e-mail i've sent.He didn't respond for 2 days, then i got an e-mail from him, saying he has read it many times and has alot to say, but it doesn't seem to be coming out.He will respond to all my questions but it will take some time.He said he doesn't want to back of, but if i want him to, then he will respect my decision.He has sent me a couple of texts and there seems to be tension eg are you well? or just a Hi... etc.I want to know, how i should think?Is he just being polite and wants to remain friends?Should i call him?help me, i'm really confused about how he feels about me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for your response Marie.
I thought i'll give you an update and see if you have any further advice for me.
We haven't spoken on the phone yet and its been 5 days since i sent the e-mail.
The last text he sent me, 2 days ago was the very polite, 'are you well?', 'hi'....
I couldn't help myself and the next morning, i sent a text saying, 'i miss you, have a good day and don't reply to this'.
I only said that, cause i was afraid he wouldn't reciprocate that message and i would be hurt again.
About 6 hours later, i tried to call him and just have a fun conversation for once. He didn't pick up and then he switched the phone off. I havn't tried again since.
I really don't know what to do now.
Am i just hoping he still likes me, but he is actually relieved that i'm doing all this nagging so he can get rid of me.
I don't want to have any regrets or doubts about any decisions i make.
This is tiring, confusing and heart wrentching, cause i really like him, but i feel rejected by him....
I think he is backing of from me, but he is trying to do it as kindly as possible.
A
female
reader, marie78 +, writes (11 November 2006):
Call him... men aren't overly emotional, so instead of playing the guessing game with emails and text messages (where the tone of a message can be misinterpreted), call him and ask him to define what's going on. You and he need to be clear. Are you going to be friends? Are you going to try for a romantic relationship? Let him define the relationship, and then decide if that's something you're willing to live with. As women, we allow men to yank our chains, rather than confronting them. I know that it can be difficult to confront a man you really like, but you have to, because he won't. So, when you confront him, don't be harsh... be kind and open... and let him do most of the talking. As women, we have to allow men to express themselves and their feelings in their own way. Good luck!
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