A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:was i wrong for contacting his mum?in a LDR and ive met his mother and mailed her on facebook a couple of times.my boyfriend has recently got a severe case of depression and last night I have never been so terrified, i made myself physically sick over it and cried for hours. During that time i mailed his mum on fb to ask her how he was acting there and if he was ok cuz im really worried about him and i dont know where i stand or anyone else does and bla bla bla.she mailed back this morning saying a couple of things and said please tell me what hes been saying to you, i need to know if i should worry about my son.well i replied like 10 mins after i got her email saying i too have told him the same things but he wont listen and that hes just lost all feeling, and hes not himself anymore, that he doesnt care about me or anyone else and how when i said positive things to him he kept saying watever and even told me to go fuck myself a couple of times then i said a couple more things along those lines and then apologised to her for sharing my worry with her but said im sorry but shes the only one really i cant talk to as shes actually there with him and i just wanted to know hes fine since he wont say anything.well she hasnt replied back to me...shes a fb addict so i know shes read it but i dont get why she hasnt replied, its kinda driving me insane now and im thinking was it wrong of me to contact her? does she hate me now or blame me or wtf? im losing my mind over this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answers, appreciate it and his mother actually mailed me back just like 2 minutes ago.
she agreed with me and said that hes soo angry all the time and worried about his future and doesnt know why; and then apologised for how he's talking to me at the moment and said that he shouldnt be talking to me that way and that its not nice, but hopefully it'll stop soon.
=) glad she replied
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): I'd do the same, his mom has the right to know and probably knows more than you about what to do about her sons depression .
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 I think you did the right thing, she sounded concerned when you mentioned it, and you were right to bring it up to her. As the mother of your bf, though, her alliance is always going to be to her son, so if he says nothing is wrong, or that you're making stuff up or are exaggerating, you're not going to win on that one.
At this point you voiced your concerns, I would NOT contact her again regarding this issue because you have put her on notice and she will make her own decision as to whether her son is okay or not, as you said she's the one close enough to tell if something's wrong; it's time for you to sort of back out of that issue.
It's possible she's been trying to figure out stuff with him all day and has prioritized him over facebook, so don't take it too seriously, but I doubt you'll get an answer saying oh wow you're right he's super-screwed up. Prepare not to get an answer at all, not because she'd be mad at you for alerting her, just as I said, because he takes priority over you.
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