A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was joking around and maybe gossiping but not in a mean way about one of the managers sexuality and I asked a couple coworkers I thought were friendly if they thought she was gay or not. Part of me was being nosey and the other was curious because I had a slight crush on her. Things got bad when one of the coworkers told her all is this. I was called in by our supervisor and when I said I wasn’t the only one she said well you are the one I’m talking to about it and saying the coworker/manager felt harasssed and I could no longer talk to or about her etc. lesson learned I will not discuss or talk with coworkers but is this extreme she feels harassed? The sad thing is the manager and I used to be good friends or talk quite often I actually miss her friendship but don’t want her to be harassed or uncomfortable by me. Was what I did that bad?!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 May 2024):
 "Was what I did that bad?!"
What are you? 5?
Yes, it's COMMON sense that you don't run your mouth about your manager and her sexuality.
It's also borderline creepy.
"The sad thing is the manager and I used to be good friends or talk quite often I actually miss her friendship "
If this is something you think is OK to do to a friend, I'd hate you see how you treat people you don't like!
Learn from this. Keep your "speculations" to yourself at work. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Most "normal" people wouldn't want their coworkers to discuss their "maybe" sexuality like its yesterday's news story.
Let's say she IS straight. She might feel a bit offended that you think she "swings" that way.
Or she IS a lesbian but not out, or not out at work - because she VALUES her privacy and here you are yelling from the roof tops that you think she is gay?!
And you are in your 30's? Acting like this?
Grow up. Be a better person.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (19 May 2024):
 Yep what you did wasn't cool. I would feel very hurt if I was that woman and not trust any of you. I don't think that just you should be called out though.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (19 May 2024):
 A couple of things here.
Firstly, someone else's sexuality is their business and nobody else's - unless they choose to discuss it openly.
Secondly, if you were friends with her, why didn't you broach the subject with her directly, or even indirectly?
I can understand why she felt harassed.
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