A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago, I was in a relationship with a guy who was 21. I was 16 at the time. We had sex, and I consented (well, I couldn't legally give consent, but I said yes). Now that the relationship's been over for a few months, I'm feeling more uncomfortable with my choices, especially since there was a certain amount of pressure from him, and most of the time I had to be convinced to say yes, either because of the area we were in or just not wanting to do it then. So, my question is, was this rape? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Daveeeeeee  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Here in Australia Its certainly NOT rape , you are over 16 years and he is 21 years , this is obviously not the case in the wonderful US of A , and it would depend which state you were etc etc .
However the big question you must ask your self ..Is why are you asking this question ? Is it going to be a solution for what you now believe to be a mistake ? You consented , and the relationship didnt work out . What about personal responsibility ?
A
female
reader, KaitlynMT +, writes (3 January 2010):
Hey-
As most have said before me, sexual intercourse between a legal adult (someone 18+ years of age) and a minor is statutory rape. The law varies depending on location, but from what you said about you not legally being able to give consent I assume the legal age of consent where you live is 18. If you were to choose to inform the autorities of this, the legal repercussions could possibly be devastating to your ex-boyfriend. He most likely would spend time in jail. Especially because of the large age difference between you and he. He could be labeled as a sex offender which could impair his ability to obtain jobs and provide a reason for social ostracism in the future. Obviously if you feel you were violated and that his "persuasion" drove you to have sex with him against your will then it is your responsiblily to inform the authorities to protect future victims and insure justice is served. If he deserves to be prosecuted as a sex offender, then you need to make sure that his is. However, if this was just a case of bad decision making on your part then I strongly suggest you learn a valuable lesson, put it in the past, and move on. Be more sensible and think through your decisions more thouroughly in the future.
Everyone makes mistakes. In fact, a huge number of women find themselves in your exact position (myself included). Above everything else you need to remember that past decisions do not dictate your future. If you are not comfortable with your past decisons then take steps to never allow yourself to make those same mistakes. Move forward.
Think about it. Decide what needs to be done. Then...do it.
Best of luck.
Hope I was able to help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): I dont think this was rape because u did finally give consent. We all make bad decisions and regret them in the future...however i dont feel it is healthy to start blaming other people for these decisions. I think you should take this as a learning experience and be more assertive next time. Remember if you dont want to do something SAY NO AND STICK TO IT! if the other person cant respect that then they are not worth knowing!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): If you were 13-14 I would have called it statutory rape. But if you were 16-17 then I call it consensual sex.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (2 January 2010):
 No it was not rape. Being pressured to have sex, but then agreeing, and having your clothes ripped from you in a back alley, held down against your will and violated are two different things. I suggest you learn a valuable lesson; men can be pretty persuasive when they want sex, especially if it's with a little girl they in a relationship with. So if you are going to get involved with them emotionally and physically you're going to end up without your panties at some point. So learn how to say no, or do not put yourself in situations where you will be pressured into something before you are ready.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (2 January 2010):
 Maybe in the US you were technically below the age of consent BUT do you really want to start a pattern of going through your life blaming others for bad choices that you make?
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A
female
reader, SeXylOvE12 +, writes (2 January 2010):
 Was it rape to you? You did consent at the time. But, it is statutory rape, since he was having sex with a minor. You have to ask yourself whether or not pressing charges is worth it to you. Is it worth bringing your parents into it, going through the legal system, and getting him in trouble? If you think so, then yes, claim it as rape.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (2 January 2010):
 This is a classic example of Statutory rape. Even though you gave consent, you were not of age to give it legally. This law was enacted to protect minors reguardless of consent.
Jeff
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Since you consented willingly and you did say yes, depending on your region I don't think you could construe it as anything more than statutory rape, unless he threatened you in some way or made you feel threatened or in danger.
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