A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The other night I went to see one of my favorite bands play in a tiny bar in a tiny town, so there really wasnt anyone there. I'm only visiting here so I went alone. I ended up talking to one of the members at the bar, and we totally hit it off. He was new to the band, and younger, anyhow, we hung out the entire night (besides when he went to play) but he and I were kindred spirits. I was surprised at how similar we thought/all our (really random) interests were in sync. Anyhow, he wasn't overly forward or anything, but paid attention to me the whole night/flirted a tiny bit. I could tell he was pretty shy, but so am I. I had told him I was on a roadtrip and we soon realized I'd be passing through his hometown when he was done with his tour. He invited me to stay with him then, and I figured he was just being nice since I said I'd been sleeping in my car. We then were talking about living in different parts of the country and I said how I'd love to live in the state he's from, and again he told me to come and stay with him because it was as great as I pictured it.He basically told me his life story and then sort of apologized for talking about himself so much as he never does that and is usually really quiet. I felt kind of flattered that he confided in me, a stranger (though it could because I was a stranger). So after a while, I decided it was a good time to leave because it was getting late and I was finally sober to drive. He invited me to stay but I had to get up early in the morning. He hugged me goodbye twice and again told me to come visit him when his tour was done and to find him online. Which I did. Long story short, I'm terrible at deciphering whether people are being sincere in their invitations or just being nice (or drunk)? He seemed like a really genuinely nice person, but I'm always wary of guys in bands, I dont know. When the time comes around, which is in 3 weeks, should I contact him to see if I can stay with him, or should I just leave it be?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Amen to the first poster.
Approach with caution. Lots of people are trustworthy, but not everybody is worth your trust. Never, EVER trust a stranger, even if they seem genuine. As someone who works with actors all day, everyday - there are a lot of talented people in the world, a lot of decent actors, liars and manipulators. And, there are plenty of people who are mentally off-kilter, who are perfectly wonderful one second - you'd never in a billion years suspect anything different about them, and then completely different the next. (And that's not by choice, that is just how biology made them.) Always look out for #1, sweetheart - keep yourself safe, even if you feel comfortable. So many people understand how to put others at comfort.
So, meet up with him in a couple of weeks, hang out - but don't stay with him just yet. Get a cheap motel room for the evening, but stay safe and don't spend the night with a guy you barely know - even if he seems like a nice guy. He very well may be! But, you don't want to take chances.
So hang out with him, but definitely don't stay with a man you hardly know!
Good luck, sweet!
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