A
female
age
36-40,
*alyov
writes:My boyfriend knows I want to stay a virgin till im married....butlast night we did a lot...and normally we do that dry humping thing..well this time I had no clothes on and he had his boxers on...well I felt his hands down there and I didnt know what he was doing because he wasnt touching me...I was confused so I reached down and felt he still has his boxers on so I didn't worry until I felt more pressure and was confused because it normally doesnt feel like that....so I felt down again and I realized he had his penis out of the slot in his boxers! he was trying to guide it into me! I said "No" and asked him to get off.So after he got off I started to give him a hand job and he goes "no no its okay, it doesnt have to go in you like before" (I didnt understand I guess)Then I realized he had some pre-cum on him and I didnt want him touching me anymoreAnd I explained to him I was scared of getting pregnant so he said "is that what your scared of? if so i have a condom, do you want me to get it?"I said "yes" because I wanted him to cover it up...because I was nude and I've very scared to get pregnant, I didnt mean I wanted sex. Well after he got it on we started doing things again and I though he just wanted to hump me again...no..he was trying to put it back in me.What should I do about this..and is this considered "attempted rape?"
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condom, dry sex, hand-job Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): I don't think this is rape, i mean you were naked lying with your own partner! gosh. It just means that you should maybe explain to him that you don't want to have actual intercourse before you are married.
A
female
reader, alanna_HD  +, writes (31 December 2008):
 I don't know, i think some of these comments are a little unfair. I'm not saying it was rape, or even sexual harasment, but he knew you didn't want to lose your virginity until after marriage. Just because you get naked with someone and 'fool around' does not mean that you want sex..for ages i didn't want to lose my virginity, but i still did everything you did. I think so that you don't feel this way again, I would make it FIRMLY clear to him that just because you do this together does not mean that you want sex. But also make sure to explain to him that you want him to wear a condom to protect you, because if one of you touches pre-cum or cum and then he touches you, or you touch yourself, your still running the risk of not only getting an STI but also of getting pregnant. Just make sure that before you start you BOTH know exactly where you stand.xXx
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A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (29 December 2008):
 No way!!!!! He did not try to rape you! That was mis communication, you should have tld him you didnt want ot have sex, those words exactly, because what you just explained gave very mixed signals. If he was going ot rape you, then he would not have gotten off of you when you told him to stop. You need to be VERY careful of throwing "rape" around. I know you are unsure, but please be careful because if you told anyone that it could stay with him his whole life! (unless he had actually done it. If he was going ot rape you he would not have stopped. Try to communicate a little better ) ^_^ good luck and dont worry, if you talk to him about it, he'll understand, just be open, and tell him what you wanted and what you meant.
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A
female
reader, damaged heart  +, writes (29 December 2008):
i agree with blue angel because you were giving him mixed signs and stuf like that and keep your clothes on if you attempt to keep your virginity...stay safe!
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A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 No.. It's not a rape attempt.. A guy wears condom when he's about to enter a girl.. You asked him to wear condom as you didn't wanna get pregnant..ANYONE would think you wanted it, let alone your guy.. If he was forcing you.. You should have STOPPED instead of giving him a blow job.G'day
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A
female
reader, Kalyov +, writes (29 December 2008):
Kalyov is verified as being by the original poster of the question well I dont have to worry anymore
he just broke up with me
and I dont know why
he just keeps saying "I dont know...I like you but I just want to be friends"
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Sorry hon but from the sounds of things you were getting in over your head. You continued to pleasure him even after you said no. You are giving him mixed signals. Things were getting a bit carried away and he was misintrepeting what you wanted. After all you could have stopped him at any time. Correct? After all you never said those words to him that you wanted him to cover it up, that it didn't mean you wanted sex.
Perhaps you didn't realize this but you were actually leading him on. When he did this in the beginning you should have said NO and completely stopped any further attempts. After all you were NUDE ,you said so. Any guy with a nude girl who is going as far as you did is giving him the go ahead signal is going to think it's an all-the- way plan.
\The decision you made to stay a virgin until marriage could have been the plan but you were letting him think that you wanted to continue on and have sex. After all you continued to give sexual gratification to him. It should have been a NO or STOP, PERIOD!
When he asked if you wanted him to get the condom, you replied yes. He did and you didn't seem to pay it any attention at first then realized that he was actually making the attemp to penetrate you with the condom on. He was following your prompts. If he had continued and actually succeeded at penetrating you I don't see that he was the blame.
I think what is happening here hon is that you and your b/f got a bit carried away. I think that you wanted to go further but you wanted to stay a virgin. You couldn't do both, so you pushed him away. You were afraid of getting pregnant but the way he was making you feel was too good to want to stop. You did however, saving your virginity but your dignity is a bit soiled.
Your b/f was only accommadating you to the manner in which he supposed you wanted. Don't blame him. If you want to keep your virginity hon you need to KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON....next time you might not be so lucky.I suggest that you two cool it if you are considering something really serious between yourselves. Wait until you are more matured and emotionally ready.
Your hormones and his are working overtime. You wouldn't have gone so far with it all had they not been. It's a natural reaction to the effect of being nude and touching one another in the way you did. If you don't curb those feelings however you may very well end up DeFLOWERED or PREGNANT!
You should tell him that you intend to be a virgin until you are married. Tell him that you will not do those things again. You deserve more respect and he shouldn't pressure you. If he can't accept your decision, dump him. Remember that to get respect you must act with respect. You must also be willing to give respect in turn. Refrain from doing anything that will cause you to loose your Belief in who you are and what you want for yourself.
I wish you the best in the upcomming NEW YEAR!
I PRAY THAT THINGS TURN AROUND FOR YOU ....NOT TURN AROND AND BITE YOU IN THE BUTT!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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