A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am posting on this site because well I need help and I havent found any other websites to post to so maybe you all can give me some answers. My girlfriend and I have been toghether for a year and a half and we have always been very happy, finally this week though things have taken a turn south...my question is, is my relationship in jeopordy of falling apart? Her statement to me today was "around your friends you are always sort of different and around my friends you can get very clingy and I have to defend you to my friends because you are not that person when we are alone together" so that is what she said, is that her trying to help me along by telling me that nicely or is this her suggesting we are getting close to breaking up?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Hmmm...I'm the same way like you. I'm different when I'm with my friends, but when I'm with friends of my better half, I am a bit more subdued and much more an introvert. I think that's the way it is sometimes. Unless you're very comfortable outside of your skin and can adjust to every situation or event or party, we have a tendency to change skins whereever we are at. With that, that doesn't make you "weird" or "different". That's just the way it is. Now, if you think you're relationship is goign to fall apart because of that, I wouldn't worry.
A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 tennisstar is right.
Be who you are and what you are...just be honest and just be yourself
She has sensed you are acting differently.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTennisstar thank you but I think I wrote this wrong...the thing is I dont see the difference in how I act and she cant seem to put it in words...also I dont think its going south its just been a rough week but she has finals coming up and school means a lot to her which it does to me also...I am sure to judge how everything is going tomorrow when we see each other!!
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 I don't think you're close to breaking up. You've had one rough week in just over one year. Why don't you go to her and talk about this? Like in most relationships, there is more going on than just the two of you (surprise!). You both need to fit into the dynamic of your friends. I think she is helping you along.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): It just sounds like she is making an observation about why it is difficult being with you. I think she is trying to tell you diplomatically that your insecurity is becoming tiresome and her girlfriends don't support her relationship with you.
It clearly sounds like she loves you and she values being with you.
She's just weighing the relationship. It doesn't neccessarily mean "the end."
It also sounds like you're scared or anxious about it. If you don't want the relationship to end, hear her out and take what she's saying seriously.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Oh no I dont think so.. I think your reading alot into her words. I think my bf is different with his friends and he has mentioned the same to me but thats just how it is. If thats your worst problem you are very lucky just be good to her she will love you regardless
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 January 2011):
 If your relationship has gone south then you already know it's in jeopardy of a break up.
It's not necessarily a warning, it's just her pointing out that you're acting like two different people and that's starting to irk her. Basically, she's nitpicking at your flaws and is getting tired of the situation being the same. Take her advice and try to act the same around her friends as they're your own.
Then again, it sounds like there's more issues in this relationship than just this. Sit her down and acknowledge this relationship is hanging on by a thread and discuss ways you can both fix it. List your problems on paper and together come up with proactive solutions. Good luck!
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