A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I didnt reply to a text that this guy sent to me, and he was on msn at the same time as me earlier tonight, but i set my status to " Away " as i didn't know what to say to him. There is a bit of a problem that i have with him at the moment, and i'm finding it difficult to talk about it. He doesnt know that i have a problem yet though, as i haven't told him. He sent me an offline message on msn just now saying " ok ignore me ".Do you think he said that because he is upset that i'm not speaking to him ?. The text he sent to my phone said that he hoped i was ok and that things were going well for me and that he hoped to see me soon and talk to me soon. We both want different things though, which is why i'm finding it hard to speak to him about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): I also wanted to add that we both know a lot of the same people, as we went to the same school. We hadnt seen each other for about 15 years, and didnt even know each other that well at school, as he is two years older than me, so we weren't in the same classes,and when i met him again last year, we didnt even know who we both were obviously at first because we hadnt seen each other in so long ( we met again because i sometimes went to the cafe he worked in ) , so we were both surprised when we found out who each other was. I've changed a lot over the years, so he was really surprised. I used to get bullied at school and i guess i'm worried that, if we have sex, he might tell his brother ( who was in my classes at school ) or some other people we know. He asked his brother if he remembered me, and his brother said " yeah, she used to be a " Swot " at school . That means i was very clever and well behaved and got on with my work at school, so i felt like his brother was saying something offensive about me. I guess it's sort of like being called a " geek ". And if he still likes his ex so much, i dont know why he doesnt just concentrate on them getting back together, as he did say that they still talk to each other, but they arent back together,and i cant understand why he gave me his number and msn e.t.c in the first place. He said his ex was clingy, and that annoyed him, so i cant understand why he still wants her back, but they were together for a while. He said he misses the attention.Another time, he sent me a message saying " dont be a stranger " once too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Thanks for your reply. He wants to be friends with benefits, but i wanted to be more, as i am not the type of person who goes with men just for sex. Or, i think maybe we should be friends, but i know that's difficult when you are attracted to someone, so the only other option is to not have any contact at all. He doesnt want a relationship because he said he still isnt over his ex, and i think he is even hoping that they will get back together, which is why i dont know why he is upset that i'm not speaking to him, and from how he is acting, it makes me wonder if he likes me more than he is letting on, but i'm not sure. I dont like ignoring him, but it's a difficult situation. I worry that if i say that i dont want what he wants, that he wont speak to me anymore.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 What's this issue you're having with him? What is that you want and how does his wants differ? What is this guy to you, boyfriend, guy you're talking to?
Yes, he's upset that you're not speaking to him. Anyone would be, you're holding in what's going on when you should be cluing him in. Of course the boy is frustrated, there's a lack of communication on your part! You need to be upfront with him and tell him what's on your mind.
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