A
male
age
36-40,
*ainkiller
writes: I was at a waterfront restaurant with my friend and our waitress gave us food and all and there was another hot girl painting kids faces for some reason idk and the waitress asked while looking at me if we would like to get our faces painted I said I think will pass then alittle time passes and as she passes she put her hand on my shoulder like a little pat so is this flirting and if it is did she do it just to be nice or to get a tip from us because if it is I think its really mean because as a guy with raging harmones it just messes with my mind. that's why I'm typing here. and one more thing was that just a very normal thing that happens to everyone or did I have something there?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Dude... a lot of waitresses touch their male patrons. She gets you jazzed up then you give her a bigger tip. Cool your jets.Next time she asks you if you want your face painted, ask her the same question, only it doesn't have to be paint.
A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (27 August 2009):
You would have found out if you got your face painted with her, the rest now is guess work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Like your question about the espresso barista, it's impossible for us to tell exactly what her motives were. But yes, she probably wanted a tip.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (27 August 2009):
Dude,
one good thing is , she wouldnt have touched you if you were a creep. So at least you have that going for you.
But you sure sound very inexperienced in that you are wondering if this is a sign.
The best way to get to know girls is to Talk to them. Keep those raging hormones to one side and show a girl that you are interested in them as a person not just as a vessel for you to unload your raging hormones.
Girls can pick up guys who are only interested in one thing easily, its written all over their faces.
So next time a waitress touches you on the shoulder you flirt back a little yourself, you never know you might just get a bite.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): sorry bud...it's all about the money in these situations.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (27 August 2009):
This happens with waitresses, bank tellers, cashiers, and nearly everyone who has to be kind to people. Don't waste another half of a nanosecond on this one.
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A
male
reader, Undisclosed +, writes (27 August 2009):
Sorry buddy. She's wasn't coming on to you at all.
Here's the milestone psych study on this topic:
Crusco, A. H., & Wetzel, C. G. (1984). The Midas touch: The effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 10,512-517
Restaurant tips: No touch 12%, Touch the shoulder 14%, Touch the palm 17% (and this is back in 1984!).
Don't let it get to you, "flirting" in the service industry is standard. It's just playful. It's very very normal. Just flirt back ha ha.
So... did you give her a good tip? :)
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): yes this is flirting. Well, she was only paying attention to you and not to your friend which suggests it's more about you than getting a tip. Maybe you should go back there and see if she's still flirting with you and also discreetly check out whether she's flirting and touching men on her other tables. Start up some more conversations with her too and see if there's some potential there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Lol she could have bin hitting on you but i waitress myself our job is to be nice and flirty and thats how we get good tips so dont get to excited im sure its just nothing but if you feel it is go back ask her out but being a waitress that happens alot
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