A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I went on a date with this guy the other night. We had a nice dinner and a few too many drinks. We ended up making out a lot and I decided that I shouldn't drive so I slept at his place. We slept in the same bed and he wanted to get physical but I told him no and he respected my wishes. He seems like a really nice guy but he's a little quiet so I don't know if he's not interested or is just being shy. When I went home, we kissed goodbye but didn't make any plans to meet again and he said that he'll "keep in touch" with me. Was that a nice way of blowing me off? Or does he actually want to see me again? Should I text him if I don't hear from him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): Wait to hear from him.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Well only time will tell but if it's been more than a week, I'm voting for blowing you off....
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A
female
reader, levelonetwo  +, writes (4 February 2013):
For some guys, it is quite normal not to call for a few days so as not to seem too keen! If he hasn't messaged you in say 5 days the likelihood is that he's not a keeper! You could, of course, send him a friendly text simply thanking him for the evening and ending it with a "see you around"!
On the other hand, you slept in the same bed on a first date and didn't sleep with him! He's a man.. you probably gave off mixed signals and left him confused :-) Always make sure you go home on your own the first night and keep him wanting more!
Best of luck to you
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 February 2013):
 I would lean towards saying he was blowing you off, but I dont think anyone can be sure what he really meant by that.
I'd simply give it a week, if you have not heard from him in 7 days (from the date) then delete his number and move on. You shouldnt text him as that means you become the one chasing him, giving him the power over you. Men dont want to be chased, they want to do the chasing. If they dont bother chasing you, it means that they are not really that interested in you.
Regardless of being shy or not, if a guy really likes you he will call you to organise another date. Its not a great sign that you didnt organise the second date whilst you were on the 1st date (normally if a guy is really keen he will at the very least drop hints about a second date) so I wouldnt hold out much hope here I'm afraid.
Just wait and see if he gets in touch over the next few days, if he does like you then he will contact you. If he's not that into you, he wont bother. But the main thing is DONT chase him, you need to see if he is interested first and the best way of doing that is to see if he texts you to organise a second date.
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Dear OP dont text, call him instead and tell him you wanted to know how he was blah blah just be casual and relaxed, as a matter of fact smile when you call him. The purpose of calling is to hear if he is keen to see you again or not. If he sounds cold and distant and says he hasn't called cause he was busy, or he has been tied up with work or whatever and doesn't attempt to make a date then you just know he isn't interested and move on. On the othe hand if he wants to see you again you will hear it in the sound of his voice. Shy or not some guys think just because he has gone out on a date with a girl then he is entitled to sex. When you told him no he could have taken it personal. Whatever the case dont fret, you seem like a sensible woman so its his loss. Good luck OP.
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