A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, please help me read this situation: I was on a date with htis guy saturday night. It was more likea friendly recoinnaissance, nothing sensual or romantic, just pally pally and witha bit of sublte flirting. Before meeting me up i felt deflated cos he texted me he is very tired(he worked during the day) that day and not to be dissapointed if he feels drained and wantsto call an early night. I thought that was his escape route but what could i do, i told him i had in mind easy chill out evenign so no worries. ANyway, to cut it short, we stayed until 4am. He told me he will definately like to see me before xmas, i was a bit cheecky and told him lets keep in touch by email, cos im so busy during this december. I hope he didnt read that as a no. DUring the 'date' he suggested stuff to do on our NEXT encounters, he was teasing but polite all the time. I felt he was a bit aloof and shy but i could handle taking the lead. Pity that the places we 've been that evening weren't to our taste so we didnt have an extraordinary highlght to focus on that evenign, just hanging out. That was the awkward bit. Next day i emailed him some links, as promised on one of our conversations the night before. He sent me a short reply thanking me, explaining some technical stuff, and wishing me luck in a project at work that I told him about. No mention of the night before. Was it a flat 'date'? Just the fact that some times he seemed really aloof.. But if he was bored he could have easily gone home mch much earlier? What to make of all this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): well.. he emailed . picking up the thread of trivia conversation that we stopped before the date, however short email, but letting me know his plans for the next days ( out of town) is that a good sign?
A
female
reader, KickRox  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 My opinion: We sometimes makes asses of ourselves on the first few dates and the other person might start to wonder if we're even interested in going on a second, third date..and so on. But maybe not aloof..but just shy. I say you keep in touch thru email like you said you would.. see how that goes in the next few days. Then, if you can both squeeze in some time to see each other before or during the Holidays..then go for it! And just enjoy each other's company. Don't read too much into it. I'm sure he's interested or he wouldn't of stayed up till 4:00am with you nor mentioned another meet-up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): Thank you guys...
I find it really hard to comprehend he was aloof.. the guy is really a brain box really intelligetn, has an off beat sense of humour aaaarrghh, how could somebody like him be aloof..
Well I will not contact him ( although I find it hard to, I really warmed up to him and will like him even as a pal in my circle, I find him very interesting).
He suggested that evening meeting up in 2 weeks when he is freee next, but I was 'reviewing agenda' in my mind and said i might be busy then, but let's do keep in touch by email.
Maybe I appeared to pally pally and warm, well I felt like that,I told him twice during the evening that I'm enjoying this and feel comfortable wiht him and it's good to hang out wiht him, even as he left I gave him a 'buddy rub' on his arm. He knows I'm just out of a relationship ( although completely healed) so maybe he is holding out?
Don;t know how to go about it. If i want him as a friend, I would be definately encourage him to dip into my life more, but if I want him as something different.. something special, I gotta play the dating game don't I? Hold back and expect he will come around. WHich way? oh gosh :-)
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