A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now..today I sent him a text message at random, saying that sometimes I think about us having babies. I asked him later if that was too weird of a text, because he didn't reply. He told me he just didn't know what to say to it.I can't help but feel a little hurt, because we have talked about marriage a couple of times. Was it too soon to say things like this? Or am I justified in expecting him to at least comment on this...?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): You might has well just asked him to marry you by text! From a guys point of view, that's how it comes off and he's probably nowhere near ready to contemplate a wedding and babies and buying a house.
Try not to force the cart before the horse, not even in a joking way. Enjoy your relationship without trying to reach the end goal or he'll run. Men aren't dumb..they can sense when you are putting them on a timeline and it can backfire no matter how much they love you.
How is he supposed to respond? He probably is not in the position to offer you what you want right now.
A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Often people invest in a relationship and avoid these important questions - and then once they've invested in each other for years they find out that they each want different things out of life. I don’t recommend that approach.
If he is prepared to entertain the idea of marriage and you've been together for two years, your question was not too early. If you are seriously asking a question about whether or not he wants children someday, then you can expect an answer, but I agree that a random-text is not the way to open up a serious discussion and I wouldn't read anything into the lack of response.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 September 2011):
I don't think that it was too soon. I just think you caught him off guard a bit. If my girlfriend sent me a totally random text that said she thought about having babies, I'd be caught off guard too and probably not know what to say either.
I think you're right to be looking to discuss this though. At 2 years, you and he probably do need to have a discussion about where you see your relationship going.
Just be careful in the future - if you're looking to have a proper conversation, a totally random text won't help.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 hmmmmmmmm
you are him and I am you...
You: Drinking a beer with friends
Me: (Conveying a serious tone through text, magically) Will you marry me?
You should have talked to him about it in person!
He is a little shocked. It takes time to get a grasp on that.
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