A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night I had a weird dream. It began while I was standing on a dark street, alone, and I walked down to the end and the only other person who is there is my driving instructor (With whom I have no physical attraction, but otherwise I don't hate him either), anyway I sorta ran up to him and hugged him but I could't let go and felt an overwhelming feeling of attraction/love which I don't feel in real life. I couldn't let go because I felt like he was going to leave me alone, and I didn't want to feel alone again. Then it kind of morphed into another unrelated dream, which I can't remember, but after a while I was standing on the street again but this time in the daylight, and somehow I lucid dreamed, and managed to change the daylight into night time, but I couldn't remove the people walking down the street, and I believe I was trying to recreate the street so I could see my instructor again. I had never seen this street in my whole life, and I never actually saw my instructor's face but I knew it was him. I need help, I don't know why I had this dream, I don't even think it was sexual, but there was an emotion there and I don't know what it was.I seem to do this for every vaguely attractive man I see. I don't know why, because I would never do such a thing in real life, because he is married with a daughter my age, for god's sake!Although I have noticed I start to become attracted to random men (usually they are about 30-40 years older than me). I've always been attracted to men immensly older than myself, and I don't have a problem with it, but I'd always be worried that I'd be seen as some kind of golddigger, or they'd be some cradlesnatcher. I don't know why I am this way either :(My dad has always been around, and my parents are both married and I had quite a good childhood, apart from Androphobia when I was 13-14 which I feel may be connected. Okay, so is my brain just messed up, or is there something seriously wrong here? I just feel constantly alone, I've never had a boyfriend due to being 17, and being attracted to guys who are 40-50. Yes, so it's impossible. I don't think I can look him in the eye anymore.. I can't help thinking what if there is some sort of attraction lingering in the back of my mind? I've been attracted to people before who I'm NOT supposed to be attracted to. It first began when I was 15, with an attraction to a teacher (Oh so cliche, I know), but from then on I've never been right. I just need help, and I don't know where to turn, because if I tell people about these attractions, I'm going to be judged.. and I think if my mum ever found out she'd be heartbroken with me.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 I once had a dream about Michael J. Fox. Keep in mind that I am about 18 years older than you and he had a career before playing Stuart Little in those movies. Previously, I had not been attracted to him, but for a brief spell afterwards, because of the dream, I thought I had a crush on him, but it faded in time.
Dreams are weird. Sometimes they unsettle us, but then life moves back into ‘normal parameters’.
Wikipedia says that ‘Androphobia is an abnormal fear of men’. Being a young girl attracted to older men is actually common. Some girls/women enjoy the sense of stability and maturity that are associated with men of a certain age and status in life. I am not schooled in phobias or psychoses, and I don’t know how the fear of men may or may not be related.
It is also common for people to feel lonely. It’s a time of self-discovery and it’s absolutely common amongst young people that they feel lonely and abnormal and isolated because of their perceived abnormalities. Think about it: you do not discuss your ‘secret’ attractions with people for fear of judgment. How many other young people don’t discuss what they perceive makes then different or weird for fear of the same?
If you truly feel a desire to understand yourself better without fear of judgment, can you speak with a counselor or perhaps the person who diagnosed and help you deal with your Androphobia? Who better qualified to guide you through this process and understand any possible connections?
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