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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and i were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the break up..no one cheated..i think we did really love each other..it was petty stuff that i think we can get over from just learning from mistakes etc..i know what i would do differently and told him this. I told him i would rather be with him than some other guy. We went a year with no contact and i was strong but i decided to contact him because i knew i still loved him. We have been talking for months and from knowing him i know he isn't the type where he would jump back quickly into things. He is in his 30's and i am in my mid twenties.I did ask him very direct questions and made direct comments of how maybe he is just trying to be this "nice guy" and doesn't want to say that he just doesn't want me. And he said that isn't exactly right b/c if it was about me then he would be seeing someone already or looking.We have been having nice conversations although its mostly me calling at this point and in terms of us seeing each other he said let him get his head together. So i figured I should give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe eventually he will come around. I am trying to date in the meantime.I was organizing some stuff and i came across 2 pictures of me and him that he never saw..one was at an occasion and it was kinda candid..i think someone called my name and i looked up and he was looking at me in that moment i guess laughing at something i said. The other was a picture of us on a boat that my friend took..the sun is in our eyes so we both look kinda funny but cute...I decided to text him the picture of us with the sun in our eyes...it was more casual and fun. We spoke earlier in the day around 7pm and he knew i was home going through some stuff because i wasn't feeling well and didn't have much else to do. He was a little sick and also was picking up family earlier in the day. I put in the message something like i don't think u ever saw this before, just thought maybe u might like to see..kinda funny etc..I sent it after 10 or so when i figured his family was settled in..he didn't respond which was fine---i actually was going to be suprised if he did respond lol. I just thought of it as something nice to put out there--nothing we need to talk about it. Just a nice gesture and if he hates it he can delete it.Was this a horrible idea? We have been talking for a while now and are on OK terms so I just figured maybe its something sweet to do and its not like we just started talking after the break up..its been awhile. I know its not going to change anything or convince him of anything..i really just saw it as a possible step in a positive direction. I just hope he continues talking to me. I didn't want to ruin everything. I am a little nervous now he won't. It was just one picture though.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I don't think the picture was a bad thing.
Good Luck!
Feel free to contact me if you need to talk.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 May 2010):
I don't think it was a bad idea,, because you've now been talking for some time. If you'd done it straight away, that would have been a bad idea. But you've given him time, so there's no harm in just testing the waters, so to speak.
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