A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I bumped into this guy I've known vaguely for a while. We'd never spoken properly but we got chatting and exchanged numbers. He text me that week and we arranged to do something the following weekend. Which we did and ended up sleeping together, I realise this wasn't the wisest move as it was obviously a bit soon but it's done now. As I thought about this afterwards he mentioned something about me borrowing something of his to which I replied well I'll never see you to give it back will I. Thinking he had got what he wanted and I wouldn't see him again (whilst really hoping I would) he said what's that supposed to mean? He text me the next day and it was all fine no awkwardness or anything. He said I will still text you, because of what I'd said obviously.Do you think this was just sex or is there a possibility of it becoming more and when he says he will continue to text is this like as if we're friends? and it was just a one off or what?
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male
reader, Perspicacious  +, writes (31 August 2009):
While there certainly are some guys that are just after sex, it would be unfair to begin to think that all guys are.
He was probably quite taken aback when you said that you wouldn't be seeing him again, and possibly was left unsure about what you really wanted.
I can't say what the future holds, and you are still getting to know each other. He likes you enough to contact you though, so the ball is now in your court.
I suggest you take this for what it is - a relationship in it's early stages - and give it a chance to develop and see where it ends up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): I think your comment about not seeing him again to return it was the wrong thing to do to challenge him. It is OK to challenge men on topics that are important to you that have nothing directly to do with him....like what do men think of marriage do you think, etc....but not to challenge him by implying you think he is a jerk, or he used you, or that he owes you another date or a relationship or anything for that matter.
Texting is the lowest amount of effort a guy has to put in to maintain contact with a girl. I would tell him you don't text, have limited texting and ask that he give you a call next time. And keep his items until he contacts you first to come and get them...thank him for the date, you had a nice time, etc....and then see if he calls you for another one. You don't have to have sex with him again just because you did it on the first date, you can say you couldn't help yourself because he is such a sexy man, but that you would like to slow down and get to know him better first before you do that again.....
Good luck..
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