A
male
age
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*ordo
writes:I am recently married (1 year) after a divorce from a 35 year marriage. I am totally in love with this woman so much so that I am anxious when I am without her, even when she is at work(I am retired). I totally trust her, we have an unbelievable relationship, but I want to spend every minute I can with her, even so much that I seldom go anywhere when she is gone and do not go anywhere with friends which she has encouraged me to do. I am afraid I may stifle her by having these kinds of feelings, I encourage her to go out with friends and she does but she also has nearly the same feelings towards me and would for the most part rather be with me also. I feel like this could be unhealthy, although it hasn't really caused any problems, we just want to be together as much as possible and outside our families we don't interact much with others. I am worried that to much of a good thing may cause problems, is it possible or unhealthy to be so much in love that it is a bad thing? We are happy in every other way, I just feel so lonely without her and only want to be with her and she feels the same. Any comments on suggestions would be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): Sounds like you're still in the honeymoon phase. Wonderful!
I think you're smart to recognize the potential for a problem if you smother her. So far it doesn't seem to be an issue, but it certainly could become one over time. The previous advice was sound -- find productive things to occupy your time while she's at work. A little more balance in your life and she's less likely to ever start to feel that you're too much.
As your relationship matures, you'll both benefit from having other interests, and friends to share them with. By all means enjoy the honeymoon phase, and revel in each other for all you're worth. But do keep in mind that it won't always be that way.
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reader, devastated2008 +, writes (31 August 2009):
 Well it doesn't sound like she is currently feeling stifled. I don't think it hurts to do things together all the time, but this compulsion... well its the compulsion that concerns me. You should be able to have a productive life when she is at work. Honestly, I think you should force yourself to involve yourself in SOMETHING... either go back to work or volunteer somewhere, or get a hobby. You may not feel like it but just choose something and do it whether you like it or not ... definitely more healthy than moping around the house.
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