A
female
age
41-50,
*RICAN
writes:I met this guy at a party, we danced and later exchanged contacts, three days later I called him just to say hi coz I was interested, we later started texting each other. He asked me out for a date and went over to his place, I spent the night, no sex but cuddled. We went out to another party the next night and later went back to his place and he dropped me home the next day. He asked me out again the next weeekend and we had sex?????, his penis was quite too big for me and it was painful, the guy just went cold the following day I tried to ask what was wrong but he said ok.I just don't know what went wrong, I asked if I will see him the next weekend but he gave excuses. I called him to get answers but he said his ex girlfriend was coming back, but he told me before that she exited the country and won't be back, was I too fast? What did I do wrong? Please help!
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female
reader, FRICAN +, writes (31 May 2008):
FRICAN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhere i am again,i went to a party 2wks ago and met ex i just ignored him and sat with friends,later he came over to where i was,we hugged and he sat next to me,i dint want to be rude so we started chatting like nothing happened before,later he asked me to dance with him ,i know i had feelings for him and his behaviour was like we had a relationshi,anyway i enjoyed the night for what he was,he wnted to kiss me but i decline,last weekened he invited me over to his lpace for aparty he was hosting and again we were acting like partners,ispent the night at his place and had wonderful sex it dint hurt cos may be i was prepered,for it,asked what next and he said he dint want to commit to be mine alone and at the same time he dint want to commit to another,he says lets go with the flow.i asked him y he wanted me back and he said i looked goood. pls help,can anyone tel me what should i do coz i really like the guy and iam getting mixed signals
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Hi,
He just sounds like a very shallow person who once he got what he wanted he left you. But I dont think you necessarily went to fast, you are an adult women you should be able to have sex with someone after 3 dates without there being any issues of moving to fast.
And maybe because he had a big dick he didnt enjoy it as much either, if you were very tight then chances are his dick was very sore afterwards as well, but that is what lube and future attempts achieve. He should know that it takes a while for a girl to take him if he is big.
Move on and forget about him.
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A
female
reader, FRICAN +, writes (3 March 2008):
FRICAN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Gals for the advice
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A
female
reader, FRICAN +, writes (3 March 2008):
FRICAN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionON OUR FIRST NIGHT TOGETHER WE TALKED ABOUT SEX AND WHAT I PREFFERED ,I ASKED HIM TO B GENTLE AND IT WILL BE PAINFUL COZ I HAD A RECENT VAGINAL REPAIR,HE SAID OK.BUT ON SECOND WEEKEND HE KINDDA GOT DISTRACTED,DINT LOOK AT ME IN THE EYE,KEPT SENDING FREQUENT TEXTS AND RECEIVING,AND WENT FLAT MOODLESS,HE WAS A MARRIED GUYI KNEW THAT.I CALLED HIM TO ASK Y HE SAID HIS EX GIRLFRIEND WAS COMING BACK,I CANT UNDERSTAND Y HE SAID HE HAD NO WOMAN IN HIS LIFE AND THEN CHANGE TO TELL ME HE HAD,I MISS HIM AND WISH HE COULD CALL ME AND SAY WE R TOGETHER BUT I KNOW IT WONT HAPPEN,I SWALLOW MY PRIDE AND MOVE ON
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): Sex is very important in a relationship. It was most likely that he did not enjoy the sex. If he is too big an dthe sex was painful for you, then it means that the two of you are not compatiable in the sex department and he may want and seeks someone who is compatiable.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 I think he did not enjoy the sex and it turned him cold.This could most probably be the reason.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 Hi
Possibly a little too fast, but its not like you jumped into bed the first night you met. But maybe a few more dates before you did, would of avoided you having slept with him. It might not of bought about a different outcome though. You cant know if it was then, that his mind changed.
I wouldnt beat yourself up about it. Just take even more time next time. Just for your own peace of mind.
C xxxxx
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