A
female
age
26-29,
*isGirl0516
writes:So My husband works in the oil field industry and we live 12 hours away from home. We are alone in the state we are in, and have no family close by. In 2017, My husband befriended his coworker and wanted me to meet his coworkers wife so I could have a friend in this town and since they had a little girl like us I agreed. We were good friends, went on a couple of family trips together, went to each others houses every other weekend, and though she wasn’t my cup of tea (due to her being very competitive in material sense and always trying to top me) I still was there in that friendship. Well, we lived in the same apartment complex, I worked in the office as the assistant. Well to move out you have to pay the payout to terminate your lease, and well long story short they were going to abandon the apartment and move in total strangers to take over the apartment which is a big No no here at the complex. So I told her that I could get her lease terminated she just needed to talk to my boss, but she took it the wrong way basically saying that I was going to tell on her and she was going to have to pay the termination fee, and I told her that that wasn’t the case just that my boss knew I was friends with them and if she just abandoned the apartment and let some random people move in my boss will think I knew. Well she got mad and I got offended ofcourse and we stopped talking since October. My question is, was I in the wrong to tell her to let my boss know? Should I have just stayed out of it? Is ending the friendship over that justified?
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (9 January 2019):
You did not have a friendship you had a friendl acquaintance based on circumstances. You are far from home and your husbands work together. You said yourself she isn’t your type. She’s out of your life and good riddance.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 January 2019):
 If she had any true loyalty to you as a friend, she would have kept you out of this and just done her own thing. That way she would not have compromised your position at work. Telling you about it up front and expecting you to keep quiet was totally unfair.
She is selfish and inconsiderate. I am sure you can find better friends.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 January 2019):
 You were not in the wrong. If this is ( or she thinks this is ) a case of " divided loyalties", I'd say that most people would think your loyalty should lay with your boss , because after all he is the one who contributes to butter your bread, and because by accepting employement from him you have also implicitely accepted to not do anything to damage his interest and business, against showing
" loyalty " to a person who sounds more like a recent social aquaintance , someone you got thrown together with by circumstances, or perhaps lack of better options, than a true friendship. In fact, I doubt that a true friend would have tried to put you into this kind of predicament. She knew that by planning to screw over your boss , there were going to be suspicions and possibly unpleasant consequences for you, and I doubt a good friend would have wanted you to jeopardize maybe your job itself and surely your professional reputation , just to avoid paying a termination fee.
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A
female
reader, HisGirl0516 +, writes (7 January 2019):
HisGirl0516 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both! I appreciate the help. I decided to let it go. Real friends don’t put you in that position.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2019): The person wrong in the situation isn't you. You did what most people would have done. Your boss would have questioned your credibility and honesty, and would have figured it was a joint-conspiracy. Thinking you'd covered for her.
Everyone else had to stick to the rules; at their own personal-expense. She didn't deserve a break; if nobody else gets one.
Don't dwell on this any longer than necessary. She doesn't particularly care for you anyway, and it's best to keep the peace by not engaging her any further. She was wrong, and tried to pull a slick move. It didn't workout. Tough!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 January 2019):
 As it AFFECTED your job I don't think you did anything wrong in letting her know that she could do it the RIGHT way instead of a semi-illegal way.
Could you have stayed out of it, sure. That would have been easy too and then just plead that you had no idea, however... that could have jeopardized YOUR job.
I wouldn't really worry about this any more. This happened for a reason and you now don't HAVE to socialize with her any more.
Why waste any more energy on this? She didn't sound like she was an actual friend anyways.
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