A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this situation is a little complicated but I really need help. I am in love with my ex lets call him Austin. My best friend who is also an ex of mine and one of Austins friends told me he is trying to hook me and Austin back up lets call him John. He knows I am still in love with Austin and that Austin loves me. We all hung out and Austin gave me a hug and was acting interested so I thought things were going to work out. Then John calls and says Austin tried to commit suicide and is in the hospital. Johns brother calls me up and tells me everything is a lie and that John is so in love with me and I need to leave his brother alone. Johns brother is a liar and John lies a lot too. I am so hurt right now thinking everything about Austin might be a lie. I just want to die right now thinking that Austin doesn't love me and that I have been lied to about this for so long. I don't know who to believe. I am so hurt and don't trust anyone. I want to believe Austin loves me but I don't know anymore. I mean he hugged me and didn't want to let go last time we hungout but does that even mean anything. I don't know if he is really in the hospital or not. I feel so stupid for believing John and loving Austin and just want to die. Can anyone help me understand any of this?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 September 2010):
 You make it sound as if loving someone is wrong. Is it? I think you're confused. You need to know the truth if he's in the hospital or not. If he did try to commit suicide, you need to know that if he does love you, the pain from why he would try to surpassed the love he'd have for you. So that shouldn't factor into you're deciding if his love is true or not.
These guys who have been lying, that you know for sure are not telling you the truth, you can make a choice. If it were me, my choice would be to let them know that you are not interested, because you deserve to be with someone that when they say something, you know they are speaking the truth. Don't let the ignorance of others cause you to want to die. Right now you don't know about you and the one that you do love, don't let it drive you nuts, find out what is really true. I feel some of what you're worried about, you're causing. Just because these guys lie, does that mean everyone who tells you something or that they love you is lying too? I think that's between you and him, no matter what anyone else says to you.
I hope this helps you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): You need to maybe confront some people to get some answers so you can move on in your life.
Confront John and tell him you want him to stop lying to you, and that you feel betrayed and that it is ruining any chance of your friendship, explain clearly you do not want him to try jeopardize whatever could happen with Austin.
As for Austin, simply find out if he is actually in hospital, ring him up and if need be just explain you are just making sure he is okay. He may be more messed up than you think and really you have to think carefully if you want a relationship with someone so unstable if what John said is true.
Ask him how he is feeling. Yes you could get rejected, but hey, that way you will know and can move on and not continue hurting. If he wants to try again might I suggest you take it slow and figure things out together, it's very easy to make the same mistakes that ruined it the first time.
You need to find some answers really...Hope some of this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): There's a reason why ex's are ex's babe and it sounds like the crowd that "Austin" and yourself have as mutual friends are not very positive to be around if they all regularly lie.
I would say that there's a chance they are all messing with your emotions and I would personally find a new man who will treat you right and have more respectable friends. You deserve better than an ex and with an ex you acquire all his friends too if they are not quality chances are he wont be because to a point you are who your friends are....
I am sure you are a beautiful, smart, attractive woman who could find a well doing lad to make you happy but also remember happiness and contentment comes from within. No person can fulfill your needs and wants. Good luck girl :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): From a logical point of view, both people seem to cause a lot of drama which in turn amplifies emotions and can therefore create unhealthy, unstable relationships of any kind. Thus, you should distance yourself from both parties, if not cut off all contact, for your personal well being. Good luck.
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