A
male
age
36-40,
*ikita1234u
writes:hi , please help me. I met a girl about 4 years back, we met on yahoo messenger chatting room. she is from another country. we kept talking like friends for two months, but after two months i proposed her, and she also accepted.Everything was cool for one year. but after one year, she went to bulgaria just for tour and travelling. she went with her friend, this friend was also a girli did not mind it at all but what i came to know about her in bulgaria, by watching her pics-(1) A simple taxi driver offered her to have an evening walk with her, and she get agree to have walk with her.then they both went to lonely place together, and then, taxi driver started to kiss her .i asked her why this happened ? she said oh this is nothing, that taxi driver was kissing me but i denied him to kiss. wellfinally i suggested her that plz dont do anything like this. this is not good for any girl, then she said ok i wont repeat it.now she got a job. there another job mate kept prepositioning her for sex. when i came to know about it, i asked her, why do u not say that boy directly to not to talk to u in such manner ?she said oh come on if he is talking in such manner then its ok, i never listen to him.i said ok, never mind, but be safe. but then she made a hidden skype id and kept talking to him. i came to know that she made skype id just for that boy, i said her to not to talk again with that boy, she said ok i wont talk again but after two days i came to know that oh she made another id with different name just to talk to him. i kept catching her new id and she kept making new id on skype to talk to him, but she made 4 ids to talk to him, and finally i talked to that boy, and now as my gf said me that now they both dont talk about sex and so on, and this boy dont offer her to have sex with her more.i believed her, anyway, she used to go to cinema with her job mates, i dont mind at all about it, but when i came to know with who she visits the cinema and cafe, it was the same boy who used to proposition her for sex. i was angry at her and said why do u go with him? she said come on, i dont go alone with that boy, i go with few more job mates, they go about 5 job mates,I thought ok she is not going alone, they are going in a group, so i also tried to forgive it, i thought it is normal but now, just few months back she had a party in her office, all the job mates went to beach, they were about 50 job mates, it was normal for me, i did not mind it at all but i tried to call her at her office party. This party started at 10 am, and finished at 5 pm, so i called on her mobile at 6 pm, she said oh party is finished, but i am thinking of spend more time on beach with my few job mates. i asked her how many job mates are remaining now at that party spot? She replied we are now 5 person. three boys, and two girls. I said ok, come back home safely. she replied ok, sure.we chat every night at 9 pm, but she did not get online, so i called again to her at 9 pm and she said oh we are still at the beach and having fun, so tonight we wont be able to talk at our time.well I'm so much possessive to talk to her, and that night she was not at home, so i tried to call her again at 11 pm, she was still at the beach. I asked her are you ok ? she replied yes I'm ok, then i said k take care, love u, and cut the phone. then i again tried to know if she reached to her home back or not, so i called her again at 1 am. Oh no she was still there on beach. Boys were shouting as they were having so much fun together. i just got some doubt that what the hell she is doing there till 1 am with three boys? I just called her again and got angry with her and said her, to just go back to home and talk to me, and get online right now. She said ok, but she did not return back to her home till next one hour more, I called her again, then she cut my call. After 30 minutes she was online and said oh I'm not feeling so much good, so lets talk tomorrow. I said ok, i was happy that she came back at her home so i did not mind it and agreed to talk to her at next day.anyway, next day i talked to her as usual but whenever i tried to ask her what happened at the party, she always said oh it was ok, i asked her if u were safe, if anything happened bad with u ? if any boy did anything bad with u in that party, but she said no no, nothing was bad, and kept smiling on the webcam b4 me, but i was not convinced at all, i knew that something was missing.after one month of that beach party, i came to know from her that, that night she drunk, well her drinking ability is cool, she dont get hang out, but that night she drunk with boys, and another girl friend also got drunk and one boy among them, offered my gf a kiss so they both went near the beach, and kissed, and my gf sat on the legs of that boy and kept hugging him, and that boy put his hand on the breast of my gf and another hand on the back side of my gf under the clothes on the hips, and they sat together more than 1 hour in same condition, kept hugging and kissing on the lips. Well it hurt me a lot. i felt as someone placed a knife on my heart, i cried a lot, I asked my gf why she did this all, why she could not remember about me when she was doing this all? she said she was drunk, but i m 100% sure that my gf was in full consciousness, bcoz i was talking to her on mobile at each 20 minutes and she said she is a fool and that's why she forget everything, but i m sure she was conscious, bcoz after coming back from that party, she turned on her pc and talked to me about 10 minutes by yahoo messenger. Well it hurt a lot.its been three months now, but it hurt me a lot even now. I tried to ask her view about boys, she said oh i love a lot when boys compliment me so much, i love to attract the boys, i love to spend time in cafe , i like to have fun. and bla blablai m so much confused, if she really cheat me? what can i think about the behavior of my gf? i said her directly that i wanna leave u, but she said i love u so much, please dont leave me, well it is true that i also love her a lot, but her such activities and behavior make my brain blast, i dont know if such kind of girl is good to marry with ? well this party incident is just 2 months older, and she also know that we will marry with in next three months.how can she do it?, if she is cheap kind of girl ?she had two bf except me but in past, she told me about her past affairs also, she always said oh i never allowed to have sex with me t any bf, we ust had few kisses and so on, but i dont trust her now :(what should i think about her ? i am so much confused.plz help me
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affair, cheap, drunk, her past, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): Sorry bro, it is your mistake, she drink something bad, so you should tell her to leave the drinking in past before that party, you must stop her by drinking this. It is not so hard to not to drink.
But if you ever tried to convince her to leave the alcohol ?
If not then it is your fault.
BTW if you tried to convinced and she did not listen to you in past, then i am sorry,
This girl does not deserve serious relationship. Leave her ASAP.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): One or two months are remaining to marry, and she is in spain for visit as fun ? Excuse me, she is not serious in relation with you as she might pretend.
Sorry guy, better u kick her now. time to find new girl for you !!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, olgakasa  +, writes (8 September 2010):
She walked with a taxi driver on evening ? My be she was drunk that's why she went with a taxi driver to hang out to walk !!!!!!!! Crazy Man.
This girl drunk something and allowed other boy to put his hands on her breast ? Allowed him to kiss ?
More crazy .
In my opinion you must evaluate her past life. Such girls are nasty in their past. Looks like a whore to me.
I feel pity on you young man that you have such girlfriend.
This girl is no caring love hand out and party kind of girl.
I drink a lot, but i did not allow any boy to touch myself when i am drunk. She is making you fool, Giving you excuse of drunk condition.
Drinking is not a good excuse, Avoid this girl , find better life partner who may respect your feelings and love too.
Good luck,
Keep inform me about your future life.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (7 September 2010):
I think you should call the whole thing off. Finish it. If you were not obsessing about a girl you hardly ever get to see you might find someone you can be with properly. It sounds like you both have different feelings and views on things. Is she even serious about marrying you ?
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (7 September 2010):
I think you should call the whole thing off. Finish it. If you were not obsessing about a girl you hardly ever get to see you might find someone you can be with properly. It sounds like you both have different feelings and views on things. Is she even serious about marrying you ?
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (7 September 2010):
 She went to Spain rather than see you? Thats a sign that she doesn't love you as much as she says. My boyfriend gave up Australia to spend time with me when I really needed him. We lived a bit far from each other and saw each other whenever we could...if shes giving up time with you when you don't see each other a lot, thats a bad, bad sign.
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A
male
reader, nikita1234u +, writes (7 September 2010):
nikita1234u is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe work in a big company, there she cant get off days more than 30 days in a year, if she could get more off days, i m sure i would like to go and to visit her so often, but she do not have time to meet me, bcoz she work and have a good job. here i can manage my off days, but she cant manage it, she just get total 30 days off days in a year. so in these 30 days off days, i went to her always to met her. I said to come to her home even if she does not has off days, but she always said me to not to come in her working days, bcoz she said oh i will work here and will go to office daily, so u will be bored without me at home, so better u meet me in off days only. so that's why we could meet just 60 days in last 4 years, and on her this year off days, she went to spain to visit for tourist purpose. Indeed i wished a lot to spend my time with her , but she said she wanna visit spain , so i said ok , enjoy in spain ;)and she went there,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): 50~60 days in 4 years is not very much...Does she plan to come where you are or are you moving there? i just dont feel good about this sweetie. mal
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A
male
reader, nikita1234u +, writes (7 September 2010):
nikita1234u is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand yes now its just one month is remaining in our marriage, and now she went to spain with her same girl friend, just for tourist visit, for 15 days, its looks so strange to me, how can she go such ? i asked her to not to go, but she said oh let me go, i love to travel a lot, so i wanna go, i said ok have fun b4 marriage, travel and come back but be safe,
she said ok i will be safe,
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A
male
reader, nikita1234u +, writes (7 September 2010):
nikita1234u is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes i have met her four times, i went to her country 3 times and she went to my country once in past, i spend about 60 days with her in real life. her behavior was good,
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A
female
reader, Fefi  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 i feel so sorry for you, you dont deserve this kind of treatment...
i think that, even though you love her, you should leave her; i mean, how can she be faithful a wife let alone a girlfriend by lying to you??
you'd only known her for two months when you proposed, and usually it takes a longer time than that for you to see what a person has to show about themselves. luckily she's shown you just what kind of girl she is, and you should run from this type before the next three months pass by..
im sorry to have to tell you this but you should leave before you get too attached; find someone who will be faithful to you, not promiscuous...
good luck and tell me how it goes ;)
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A
female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (7 September 2010):
I don't think this girl is being honest with you. You can't marry her if already, she's being dishonest with you and hurting you like this. She seems more interested in partying and going out with different men which tells me that she can't handle a relationship yet. If you can't trust her, there is no marriage. I know you love her but she has to grow up, cancel the engagement. If you want to, give her a second chance but I don't think she'll change any time soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): Have you ever met this girl in real life? How much time have you actually spent in her physical presence? ]
Her behaviour is totally unexceptable for someone who is planning marriage in 2 months time. You my dear are much too trusting. mal
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