A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Our first romantic week-end away (after 3 years) turned into a violent mess of emotion after I expressed my upset about his three second idea of love-making. Like where’s the fire? What’s the rush babe…? Given that the setting was relaxed and positive etc… and his performance odd to leave me cold like that. I became even more frustrated when he could not think to apologise, communicate and or attempt to make up for what had unexpectedly happened to both our desires. Instead, he became defensive and all self-righteous, by yelling and blaming me for my feelings – needs for this week-end. (As if it wasn’t mutual to reconnect.) This not only made me think he was totally selfish, insensitive and oblivious. But from my perspective I then felt physically abused / ignored – violated; as I did not receive a shred of sensitivity or loving treatment that night, just pathetic excuses and yelling! This exasperated me to the point of my slapping him for the insult to injury, and removing him to the couch… After the bombardment of his hurtful words, I reminded myself of the adage: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me, and concluded that his words where like stones pelted at my heart and breaking it severely. Hence my retaliation in despair… Now, according to the rules, I’m the abuser? The greater of the two offenders by law for slapping him for the above emotional rollercoaster experience, in spite of that he’s the victim? What do think?[In hindsight; I think I should have calmly packed my bags, driven home in tears and left him there in his underwear. Fortunately he/we have grown wiser since this episode.]
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 There are no winners in this case. Both of you screwed up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): Personally I would have kept quiet - tried again later, creating a seductive atmosphere and enticing him slowly, you had the whole weekend
The poor man was probably stressed and excited, stressed cos he knew it was a rare weekend away and he had to perform and excited by the same thing.
Theres nobody to blame just pressure and expectations that weren't met, plus total over reaction to the situation
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (11 August 2011):
 I'm sorry to hear your weekend was such a disaster. I have nothing really to add to what Eddie85 said to you. I really do hope you'll be able to profit from his advice!
I wish you all the best for a better outcome!
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Interesting. So you wanted a romantic session and he delivered a wham-bam-thank-you-maam instead...
If I read between the lines, he probably finished too quickly and was embarrassed about it. Most guys like to brag about how long they can last and pride themselves on this fact. However, when you busted him for not lasting long enough and not being satisfied, he became defensive, angry, and belligerent. My is guess is that your needs were received as criticism (rather than communication), as in, "Wow that was a bad lay, you aren't good in bed" and he took it personally.
From the sounds of it, you both were victims. You should've let him know, in more gentle terms, that you weren't satisfied yet and would like to be loved tenderly. While he may not be able to perform right away, he too should've been more receptive to this fact and should've done whatever it took to make you happy -- that's what romantic vacations are all about after all.
I think you need to take a look at how you communicate your needs to your man and make sure that he understands that you aren't belittling or nagging. He also needs to understand that you have needs that must be fulfilled.
However, this may be a small glimpse of the bigger picture: is your man selfish? Are these quickies the norm or the exception? Are you needs being met from a physical intimacy standpoint?
Only you can answer those questions that will help you determine if he is truly compatible for you sexually and physically. You can overcome these problems (if they exist), but you will have to communicate your needs gingerly and with care, as you are going up against his male ego.
Good luck
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