A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have just come out of an upsetting breakup with someone I was deeply in love with. We broke up over a very silly reason, which I'll get on to in a minute, and yet, though he often told me he loved me, he has a new girlfriend, someone I was previously friendly with, and someone he has been good friends with for a while. When I say he has a new girlfriend, I'm talking within a week. I am quite convinced that this was going on before we broke up, but I am looking for anothers opinion. I just want to stop these thoughts circulating round and round in my head, or they will drive me mad.I have alot of justification for suspecting this. 1. About two months before we broke up, I met with him at the park with some friends. He seemed rather put off and obviously had something on his mind. I asked him what it was about, and after some pressing, he mentioned some girl we will just call A for now. I couldn't get any mor from him.2. He brought A up a lot. Like, we would be having a nice private conversation, and he would just bring her up, to talk about something she said, or how good at art she is.3. He hung out with her on their own. At my age, this is more socially acceptable, and I thought they were just friends, but they hung out ALOT.4. Despite his obvious friendship with her, he never invited her out when to join us and our friends, at least when I was there.5. Finally, towards the end, he seemed to be looking for an excuse to break up. We had an arguement one weekend, and he said he didn't think we could last anymore. I was devasted. I went to see a friend of mine in comfort and... well my friend kissed me. Just once, and I didn't kiss him back. But it was still a mistake. Anyway, I told my boyfriend and... well thats that. The thing is, if it was anyone but him, I would understand him being upset. But hes a notorious cheater. And he had previously expressed the opinion that "as long as your happy..."So yeah. He started seeing A like a week, two weeks later. I don't know what to think now. Whether to hate him or not :/ it still hurts so much.
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female
reader, Red591  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 your welcome. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou very much for your great answers, this was my first time posting on this site. xanthic, it seems we were in a similar situation, and like you, I don't think I will ever know. Thankyou for your answer :)
CindyCares, you are very right about hate, it's pointless and destructive, and can only ensure you don't get over the person. Best to just drop all emotion where you left it and plough on through :)
Red591, I am sorry to hear that you also had this experiance, he sounds so the same. This guy has cheated on pretty much every girl he has been with. I sort of hope for her sake that he changes, as shes not a bad person. Thanks :)
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (21 September 2010):
 I went through something very similar last year. My ex seemed really off during the last two months we were together and when we did break up, it seemed like he was just making excuses and even blamed me for things HE did. About a month later I found out from a friend that he'd been hanging out with some other girl from his class every week at a bar while we were still together. To this day I have no idea how far it went between them at the time, but he ended up dating her soon after we broke up.Considering how soon he claimed to have a new girlfriend, I'd say something had definitely been going on while you two were still together. It's unfortunate, but it's likely he'll do the same thing to the new girl, too.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Yep. It sounds like he was already interested into this new girl... and you gave him an excuse to make his
transition to the new girl official.
No,don't hate him.Hate is a total waste of time, it just fills you with powerless rage and eventually it's only gonna hurt you ,not him. Then, the boy..is just a boy, he could have shown more loyalty, maturity and savoir faire... in an ideal world, in practice , what do you expect from a guy this age, this is standard behaviour. Last, you said he is a notorious cheater... so, unless you have a special liking for notorious cheaters, be thankful that you've just got rid of one before he could do more damage !
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A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (20 September 2010):
he was cheating and he sounds like my ex he can only deal with one girl at a time but rest assured, he will do the same thing to her.
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